Rebuttal, I Guess

I've let DJMJ run his mouth on and on and on this week. Part of the reason I've allowed this is because he's an entertaining fellow when he's full of impotent rage. Another part of the equation is that this simply isn't a big game for me, or for any other Steelers fans. Call us when the Patriots (with Brady) or the Colts, or the Chargers come a-calling on the schedule. Don't mock my football sensibilities by telling me that I'm supposed to be juiced for a so-called "rivalry game" with a team that's beaten us all of once in the last 16 tries, and not since 2003, to boot. The Browns are an impediment to gridiron supremacy for the Steelers in the same way that the French are an impediment to military supremacy for anyone.

The Browns are just another game on the schedule. If the Browns lose, they'll be more than 0-2--they'll be psychologically destroyed, dead in the water, et al. If the Steelers lose, they'll be 1-1 and people might finally say that the Browns are at least going to present some semblance of a challenge this year.

DJMJ doesn't need to make fun of my team's QB either, I'll do it myself. Ben Roethlisberger is a pansy (a talented one, but still a pansy) who loves to talk about minor injuries and non-existent injuries like they're serious problems in need of amputation, so that when he comes out and plays (at 99% health) and torches other teams, he looks like the ultimate tough-guy gamer. He's not. He's just an excellent QB (probably the best one in the league playing a game in Week 2) that happens to have a hard-on for "playing through pain". Please. Cleveland's QB has an infinitely cooler nickname (as coined by KSK): Horse Balls. Shame of it is, Horse Balls isn't one third the passer that Big Ben is, and neither is his backup, Liberace (though some would describe him as "fabulous").

Other than that little nitpicky problem with Big Ben, what do I have to be angry or concerned about? The Steelers manhandled a Texans team that has a better secondary than the JV unit that the Browns throw out there. And to suggest that the Browns can put pressure on Roethlisberger when Tony Romo stood FLAT-FOOTED in Week 1 and just waited to see someone come open is ludicrous. The Cowboys O-Line had just as many question marks surrounding it as the Steelers did going into Week 1, and they held up just fine against Shaun Rogers and Co. (the Company, in this case, is Enron)

If you think this game will be any closer than a 3 TD blowout, you're pretty nuts. It'll be over by halftime, it won't be close, and it won't be pretty. 38-10, Steelers. Ho. Hum.

By the way, here's a few numbers besides 38 and 10 to chew on. 5-0, 15/16, 2003, 0-2. If you don't know what those mean, you're just smart enough to be the Browns head coach (except the last one, of course, which represents the Browns' record against the Steelers last year, which kept them out of the playoffs--WOO).

Oh, and by the way, I'll be there firsthand to witness the carnage. It's good to be the king.

Here's a picture totally unrelated to either team, just for fun.