Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Happy Birthday, Bron



Today, December 30, 2008, LeBron Raymone James turns 24 years old. It's also a Thanksgiving of sorts. Thank you, LeBron, for giving me and millions of other Cleveland fans a reason to go easy on the trigger of the shotgun stuffed in our mouths. Seemingly every year, the Browns redefine "debacle" and the Indians sordidly underachieve. But it's all good, because in the back of my mind, I know you'll be there to rape the virgin and poison the virtuous on our behalf. Some truly fine Cavs teams didn't win a title because of a dynamite talent who wore No. 23. Well, now there's a different No. 23 in the NBA, and hopefully you'll keep great teams and great players from winning titles just like the other one did. Yeah, today is also some golfer's birthday, but he plays for himself. You, LeBron, play for Cleveland, and that makes you my sunshine, my wonderwall, my Marshall Applewhite. You are my Liam, my Lennon, my own personal Jesus Christ. You are my brother, my captain, my king.

I love you.

Have a great one.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Oh Peyton, Sweet Sweet Peyton



I loathe Peter King and all he stands for. Sometimes, when I think about my distaste for him, I start to feel a little bad. I figure, “Man, this guy probably isn’t so bad, he’s a father, with children and a wife, and he’s got a lot of people that love his writing. I’m sure he gets plenty of nice letters every week and tries to cater to the masses that fidget until his Monday Morning Quarterback column goes up on SI.com. Maybe I shouldn’t hate him.”

Then I read a steaming pile of shit like this week’s edition.

You can go to Kissing Suzy Kolber and read the esteemed Big Daddy Drew’s authoritative piece-by-piece takedown of it (after you’ve read every fucking word of this post, you lazy Ritalin-addled punk), but I feel that not even that literary beating adequately attacks King.

If you’re Peter King, you’ve got almost unlimited access to players, and yet you abuse it and use it to favor your favorites. I’m looking, in no particular order, at Brett Favre, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Bill Belichek, Tony Dungy, Tedy Bruschi, and basically anyone else King thinks he can use to spin a fucking horrid anecdote with a predictably sappy, preachy ending. Guess what Peter, just because Peyton Manning had a knee surgery and it was pretty difficult doesn’t make it a super special story worth sharing. Wow, we’ve never heard that Manning had to get lots of fluid drained and that he’s worked really hard to get back to form. Personally, I just assumed that he snapped his fingers, filmed a few Mastercard commercials to build up his strength, and poof, back to normal. Next time, use your “inside access” to tell us something useful.

King also used the Manning story to essentially make excuses for Manning’s early-season performance, which was less than spectacular, and to strengthen his ridiculous argument that Manning should be the MVP because he led the Colts to 9 straight wins against horse shit competition. If you were wondering, that horse shit competition included the Texans, Browns, Bengals, Lions and Jaguars, not to mention the playoff-bound, but 8-8, Whale’s Vagina Chargers. I’m not here to make an argument about the MVP, but Peyton Manning definitely shouldn’t win it. (Try Matt Ryan or James Harrison.)

PK also used his column to stroke Brett Favre’s erect penis ego, making vague excuses as to why he performed poorly down the stretch (his widdle showder had a boo boo) and make non-prediction predictions as to Favre’s whereabouts for next season. Again, for a more amusing breakdown of that portion of the column, I refer you to KSK.

What troubles me most about this mocha-flavored windbag is the fact that he uses his column to blatantly pimp his personal favorite players, even if they suck. He was friends with the father of the Patriots’ Matthew Slater, so when Slater muffed a kickoff against the Steelers and looked like a real horse’s ass, King spared him a tongue-lashing because of nothing more than a meaningless, non-issue friendship that should have had no relevance whatsoever to his column.

I could go into more detail about his non-football thoughts, coffee nerdness and constant traffic-related bitching, but the thought of having to re-read some of those thoughts makes me want to gag. Great Peter, traffic angers you, you like coffee, and you occasionally pay a shred of attention to other sports, which clearly makes you think that you’re perfectly qualified to offer hard-hitting analysis on those sports. Stick with what you barely know, asswipe, and attempt to write about football.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Bye bye Savage, touchdoooooooown...no one

It's official. Hours after losing to Shittsburgh AGAIN, the Browns fired general manager Phil Savage.

Not entirely unexpected, and not entirely unwarranted. Savage began his career as an intern with the Browns in 1991, and during his time as a top scout for Buttlimore, he helped draft Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, Terrell Suggs, Adalius Thomas, Jamal Lewis, Chris McAlister, Peter Boulware, and Jonathan Ogden. His draft haul in Cleveland has been, shall we say, less sexy.

Still,
the talent pool on our roster has improved by leaps and bounds under Savage's watch, but he overpaid some free agents and had several very public slip-ups. He was also inextricably tied to Romeo Crennel, whose fate will likely be decided within 24 hours.

There are names flying around for both the GM position and head coaching job, so Randy Lerner has his work cut out for him. Here are some quick-hit grades on the 10 biggest candidates:

Bill Cowher
Former Pittsburgh Steelers head coach; current CBS analyst
Viability: C

The most popular name on several teams' lists, I'd rather not see him get the head coaching job. His coaching career began in Cleveland, and his run in the asshole of Pennsylvania is impressive, but he won't have great coordinators this time, and he'll want to be the general manager, too. Besides, he says he doesn't have any interest. You know what? Neither do I.

Scott Pioli
Vice President of Personnel, New England Patriots
Viability: B+

He didn't want the Browns' general manager position in 2005, and it's unlikely he'll want it much more now. Pioli is a frontrunner who'll want to take over a franchise with a sturdy foundation of recent success, not an NFL quagmire like Cleveland. That said, Pioli is the strongest available front office figure with football's model organization. If we somehow land him, we might become a model organization as well.

Josh McDaniels
New England Patriots offensive coordinator
Viability: A-

Amid this whole sordid debacle, the Browns have two things going for them: the northeast Ohio locale and ties to Bill Belichick. McDaniels fits both bills. This student of Belichick is a graduate of Canton McKinley High School and John Carroll University. He's only 32, but he's one of the hottest coaching candidates in the league, and unlike the others, he'd actually embrace the challenge of fixing the Browns. He did a great job with Matt Cassel this season. I salivate over what he could do with Brady Quinn.

Mike Holmgren
Former Green Bay Packers and Seattle Seahawks head coach
Viability: B-

He's already rescued one history-rich franchise from the doldrums. In order to do it in Cleveland, he might want the additional general manager tag like he had in Seattle, which is something we're all afraid to give anyone. Holmgren has brought a winning culture wherever he's gone, and he could return to football in the future. I'm just not sure his heart's in it right now.

Kirk Ferentz
Iowa Hawkeyes head coach
Viability: F

NO NO NO NO NO. His name is only in the conversation because he served as the offensive line coach for the Browns/Gayvens from 1993-1998. There's no tangible evidence he could succeed as an NFL head coach, and his stock has gone way down thanks to Iowa's tailspin the past few years. Besides, he signed a contract in 2004 to stay at Iowa through 2012, and he denied interest in the Steelers' job two years ago, which is (vomits all over keyboard) a much better job than the Browns right now.

Rex Ryan
Baltimore Ravens defensive coordinator
Viability: C+

Ryan has been fairly quiet on the possibility of coaching in Cleveland. He may not want the job, although given John Harbaugh's hiring last January, he won't get the Ravens job anytime soon, either. But he's authoritative, and he has a great mind for defense. Take it from a Browns fan, we need someone to fix that side of the ball first and foremost.

Jim Schwartz
Tennessee Titans defensive coordinator
Viability: B+

Remember how I said that Bill Belichick's time in Cleveland is an advantage? Here's another name from that tree. Schwartz got his start doing statistical analysis for Belichick's Browns regime, and he's carried his cost-effective brand of defense to Tennessee. He interviewed for three head coaching jobs last offseason, and he's considered one of the top coaches-in-waiting. Anyone who can hammer the Steelers like he did last week has my vote.

Brian Billick
Former Baltimore Ravens head coach
Viability: D

Sure, he's got a strong voice and a Super Bowl ring, but his last few years with the Ratbirds are less than encouraging. He spurned the expansion Browns in 1999 for our aborted fetus in Baltimore. He wants to get back into coaching, but I don't really want him, and the general consensus is he doesn't want the Browns, either.

Bill Parcells
Executive Vice President of Football Operations, Miami Dolphins
Viability: B

I left out Tuna's coaching stints in New York, New England and Dallas because if we end up hiring him, it'll most likely be as general manager. He has an unmatched track record of turning franchises around, and the Browns sure could use an ass-kick in the other direction. Parcells is the biggest wild card of the bunch because his availability hinges on Wayne Huizenga's sale of the Dolphins, for which Parcells has an out clause in his contract. Stay tuned.

Marty Schottenheimer
Former Cleveland Browns, Kansas City Chiefs, Washington Redskins and San Diego Chargers head coach
Viability: A-

Publicly, Marty says he has no interest in coaching the Browns again. Privately, nobody's buying it. And I mean nobody. The right price will almost certainly lure Schottenheimer back to Cleveland, and given his age (65) and success in San Diego, he hasn't lost a step. Sure, bringing back our only consistent winner since Blanton Collier would be a PR move to end all PR moves, and his playoff degenerations into Marty-ball are one of the NFL's most head-scratching happenstances. But I'll come clean: I will sell my football soul for this move if it legitimizes the Browns again
.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As I finish up this post, I'm watching commercials for the Super Bowl on NBC, and it seems so far away I almost want to cry.

You've got a successful football team in England, Mr. Lerner. Let's fix your American football team right now.

Look like they made it

Forget Cleveland's futility for a second.

Five years ago, the Detroit Tigers had a brush with grimmortality but won their last game to avoid tying the Major League record for most losses in a season.

One of my buddies from college, a native of Detroit, was very upset by the Tigers deciding to give a shit and avoid the stigma of 120 losses. He felt that if you're going to suck that bad, why not go for it all?

Well, cheer up, man! The Lions HAVE DONE IT FOR YOU!!!!!



YOU DID IT DETROIT!! WELCOME TO SUCKTOWN!!!!

BROWNS MAKE EXAMPLE OUT OF ROETHLISBERGER



This is what happens when you mess with the VORACIOUS BROWNS DEFENSE. This is what happens when you ACTUALLY MAKE THE PLAYOFFS and WANT TO KEEP YOUR STARTERS SHARP.

Here's a better look at the immediate aftermath of the incident:


That's Benjamin on the right. The girl on the left answers to the name of William Lee McGinest Jr., and she's the one who hit him.

Such a dilapidated destiny is also awaiting Romeo Crennel and Phil Savage after the game.

Oh, wait.















More to come.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Cavs face Wizards on Christmas; Wizards' season won't end after meeting

Merry Christmas, everyone. Hope you and yours have a great day.

I've been having a lot of great days lately thanks to the Cavs, who roll into a Christmas Day meeting with Washington amid the best start in franchise history. Boston's snazzy 19-game win streak has only gained them one - ONE! - game in the standings on Cleveland. Can't complain too much about that.

Also can't complain about having our friends from the banks of the Potomac gift-wrap another victory for us. The Wizards are a conference-worst 4-22, and Cleveland's favorite chump DeShawn Stevenson recently demoted himself to the bench because the team is struggling.

The NBA has tried to turn this into a rivalry over the past few years by scheduling our games against Warshington in big spots, but it just hasn't gained any traction. The Wiz are the first team LeBron ever beat in the NBA, and they're the team he's beaten the most in the playoffs. This is about as one-sided as "rivalries" get.

I also have to be honest: I like Washington. Caron Butler is one of my favorite players, Antawn Jamison is a guy I'd LOVE to see the Cavs add at the trade deadline and Gilbert Arenas is about as entertaining as pro athletes get. No matter how many times Call-Out Boy runs his mouth, I just don't have the disdain for the Wizards that I do for, say, the Pistons.

With all this holiday cheer in the air, I'm going to debut a new feature of the blog, something called "The Circle" that will pan the camera around to every aspect of a game or event in the world of Cleveland sports.

Joining us for game analysis is Kutch. What's crackin' Kutch?


Diggity D-J DONKEY PUNCH! What's happenin' son? Why are we at Cavs-Wizards man? Isn't like every celebrity in the world going to Lakers-Celtics? Isn't Shaq gonna miss his 5,000th career free throw during Suns-Spurs? Way to pick the worst Christmas Day game out of all of them. Here's what's gonna happen: the Cavs are gonna win by 25, and LeBron James is gonna take a piss on Pennsylvania Avenue after he drops 60+ points. Hey DeShawn, guess who's gettin' punked tonight?! YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUU!!!!


Thanks, Kutch. Now for our off-court report, here's Will. What up Will?


Heyllo DJ MahmJeans. The buzz surrounding toonite's game between the Cavaliers and Wezards is not as much about de game as it is about LeBron's new chalk shoe, the second special edition of his Nike Zoom LeBron VI cullection. The midsole is modeled after the hardwood floor of Quicken Loans Arena, and the shoe's colour scheme is the same as the Cavs' road blue uniforms. Everyone in attendance will get a bag full of chalk too clap in de air at tip-off. We don't know how DeShawn Stevenson will show up at de game toonite, but chances ahre he will look something like this. Back to you.


Thanks Will. That's some sticky-icky info right there.

Now we throw it over to TP, the final member of the circle. Heeey TP!


Darn it, I told you my name's Topher. Where's my mom?


We're not really sure what TP does for us, but stay tuned and we'll figure it out.

Anyways, that's the Cavs-Wizards game broken down from every, uh, relevant angle. I'm going to go enjoy the holiday before watching the Cavs tonight.

Happy holidays!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Lil Wayne needs a high five

I hate celebrity blogs. The ones that aren't just a corporate arm for the celebrity's brand (Kobe, anyone?) are still boring and uninsightful in the worst way. The only celebrity I've ever read consistently is Gilbert Arenas, who doesn't have border patrol at his mouth and actually gives us something both funny and revealing each time he posts.

Unfortunately, most of them don't do that. Take Lil Wayne, for example, whose extraordinarily dull ESPN.com blog has inexplicably attracted reader after reader the last few months. All he does is regurgitate the obvious and demonstrate a laughably deficient grasp of the English language.
I don't like listening to Lil Wayne's music. Why should I give a two shits about his opinions on sports?

That's how I feel most of the time, anyway. Actually, about all of the time. 99.9 percent of the time. But since it's the holiday season, Weezy must have felt like stuffing my stocking with more than crappy albums, because his latest blog post featured the following headline:

Lil Wayne's Blog (Podcast

Edition): "I just don't like the

Steelers."


ME THE FUCK NEITHER!

Let's hear it again!!

Lil Wayne's Blog

(Podcast Edition): "I

just don't like the

Steelers."


One more time!!

"I just don't like

the Steelers."



Aren't the holidays wonderful?? Two people, at least one of whom absolutely can't stand the other, come together thanks to our mutual hatred of Pukesburgh! Sure, Weezy was talking about how he "doesn't like" the Steelers as the AFC representative in the Super Bowl, but this is America! I'm a journalist! I twist words and suppose the negative for a living!

High five, Lil Wayne. High 10. High foot, Secret of the Ooze-style.

Who knows? I may your read your next blog post now.















Nah.


I'm DJMomJeans, and I hate everything about the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Bill Cowher needs a hug

So apparently Bill Cowher was upset about Keith Bulluck and LenDale White's towel-stomping in the waning seconds of Tennesee's 31-14 curb-stomping of the Steelers Sunday.


Awwww, what's wong, William Laird? Somebody's diswespecting the Steewers? How dare they!

Newsflash, Kaiser Chinhelm II: You coached one of the dirtiest teams in the league. Your whole "respect the game" deal is a crock of shit. That article points out the time when T.J. Houshmazoli wiped his feet with a douchebag dishrag after the Bengals beat you in Pittsburgh, and how your team heroically used that incident as motivation to beat Cincinnati in the playoffs. Oh, the article conveniently neglects to mention that Carson Palmer lasted one pass play in that game before tearing his ACL, but I'm sure that didn't make any difference whatsoever. Way to get caught by the cameras while mocking the Bengals afterwards, too.

One of the things you apparently said during your temper tantrum on CBS was that Keith Bulluck "...should know better." Take your own advice, Cowher Power. Or did you not know that analysts aren't supposed to openly root? You must hang out with Dan Fouts.

To help you work on corking your conniptions, here's a picture of Jevon Kearse rousingly blowing his nose in a douchebag dishrag:


Rock on, Jevon. Wipe your ass with it, too, before you're done. Maybe that will help Billiam keep his emotions in check. Or maybe we'll see Boomer Esiason breastfeed him on set to calm him down.

You know what? That'd be pretty funny. Almost as funny as stomping a douchebag dishrag.


I'm DJMomJeans, and I hate everything about the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The LOLBrownz: Week 16

Read 'em and weep.


HEY, NO ROUGH HOUSING ON TEH FIELD



OH NO, NOW DRAFT PICK IZ BETTER



SILLY BRAYLON, PICKS IZ FOR KIDZ



TELEPATHIC FITZPATRICK GIVEZ CINCINNATEH ADVANTAGE



OH NO, IZ HAPPENING AGAIN



SHH, NARCOLEPTIC CHRIS HENRY IZ SCORING AGAINST LOLBROWNZ



I'M IN UR SEKONDARY, STOMPIN UR TOKYO



WHERE I PUT DAT RESUMEH
















And now, a special BONUS addition to the LOLBrownz:


HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA



WE ARE

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Welcome to the 62nd (and a half) Edition of the NBA Finals




Blogging about a game that's 20 days away is probably crazy, but no more crazy than speculating about a superstar's plans two years from now, or the idea of one of the NBA's clumsiest GMs transmogrifying a 24-win firecracker into a championship H-bomb in just one summer.

For the first time in league history, three different teams have won at least 21 of their first 25 games in a single season. Two of them are Boston and Cleveland, who will meet on Jan. 9 at the Q for the first time since the Cavs' five-point loss in Boston on opening night.

With apologies to the Lakers, who are softer than Mike Ditka's dick, and the Magic, who rely way too much on 3-point shooting and D12's raw ability, the NBA's two best teams are the Cavaliers and Celtics. We already knew that about Boston, but even a sadistic homer like me wasn't convinced about the Cavs.

Until Friday night.

Our fancy-schmancy 11-game win streak was nice, but I thought it was more a product of cushy scheduling. Only four of those wins came on the road, and the fact remained we'd melted down in the late stages of our four losses, all of which were on the road against good teams.

Until Friday night.

The Pepsi Center has been a nightmare for the Cavs since LeBron arrived. We'd won there just once in his first five seasons, and beaten the Nuggets just twice overall. This year's Denver team is less controlled mania and more contender thanks to Chauncey Billups, and the Nuggets were 16-5 since his arrival, which pushed them to the No. 2 record in the Western Conference.

Until Friday night.

Our 17-point shaming of Melo and co. in their gym is proof positive that these Cavaliers can beat an upper-level team on the road. For the first time since trouncing Dallas in the first week of the season, the Cavaliers have a signature road win. More will have to come, but this is a great start, especially considering we've hammered all six sub-.500 teams we've faced on the road (not to mention a 24-point beatdown of the 13-12 Nets in mid-November).

That affords me the opportunity to whimsically flip the calendar to Jan. 9. We're 22-4 right now, and we should be 30-4 when the Celtics come calling because our eight-game slate between now and then includes just three road games, two teams with winning records and no back-to-backs.

I can't say for certain that Boston's winning streak will be at 27 games by that point. I'm not concerned about the Christmas Day clash with the Lakers at the Staples Center, because again, the Lakers are softer than Liberace at the Playboy Mansion (thanks Hyde!). But there's a big test on Dec. 30 at Portland, which is the end of the four-game trip that begins in Los Angeles. Portland's one of the best home teams in the league, and if I were a degenerate gambler, that's when I'd hang loss No. 3 on Beantown.

Even that, however, wouldn't taint the biggest regular-season game in Cavaliers history on Jan. 9. The much-improved offense, still-staunch defense and Jordan-esque commitment to every game have vaulted the Cavs to the top of the NBA.

We knew Boston would be there.

Looks like Cleveland just joined the fray.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Take Your Pick


Hey fuckwads, it's time for a special edition of Take Your Pick: Would you rather read one of DJMJ's columns for this blog, or flay your dick with a butter knife? I think I know what your answer will be. Maybe instead of bitching about how much you think I suck you should be thankful that I decided to write about not one, but both teams in your miserable home state. Writing about two teams so numbingly boring is an actual test of one's writing chops. Any fucking asshole (you, for example) could write something compelling about Steelers/Titans or Ravens/Cowboys, but writing about the NFL's most boring teams, teams that reside in America's most boring state, now that's a challenge.

You say that I don't ever pick anything on Take Your Pick. Can you read? Are you a mouth-breathing retard? It's called "Take Your Pick", not "Here's My Pick". If I picked, it would take all the suspense out of the game, because my pick would be right every goddamn time. Christ, you're literally one of the dumbest pricks I've ever dealt with--and I have to deal with Kellen Winslow and Braylon Edwards on a semi-regular basis.

I read what you write about me, and I have the unquenchable urge to stick your head in a waffle iron. While sodomizing your dog with a turkey baster. Words can't express how much I think your writing sucks. Even if you wrote about things I liked, like kites, sunny days, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and stenciling, I still wouldn't like your writing. You are a stain on humanity, and I hope you wake up tomorrow with incurable syphilitic sores all over your body. Merry Christmas, shitbag.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A Braylon Edwards Digital Short



Lock eyes, from across the field
No doubt now, this touchdown is sealed


Make the throw and skip the reads

No need here for those other dweebs


Make my way past the cornerback

My speed and size are both things he lacks


Move in close as fans start to rise
Our sync is good, the ball's in the sky


Watch this play, E-S-P-N

Big-play Braylon's back again


The Pro Bowl is what lays ahead

The time comes to make the catch, but instead


I just



It won't happen again, you should take my word
For the No. 3 pick, that's just absurd

Give Big-Play Braylon one more chance
I won't


Son of a bitch, I won't drop every one
But don't laugh at me, or point and make fun

I'm very sensitive, and I'll get the job done
Now I'll go back to work...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I need a few things fixed with my hands
Do things alone now as it stands

Left out of the limelight during the week
Allows me to work on my game and tweak

Crennel won't yell, there's no inspiration
It's up to me to find motivation

Friday arrives, I'm sharp as cactus
Caught every ball this past week in practice

Confident because we're playing the Bills
None of their defenders can match my skills

Til I


It's perfectly normal, anyone would...
Oh look, another Brown did something good

Whenever it's time for some sweet bromance
I just


But please, keep throwing the ball to me
I won't keep dropping it so awfully

And please stop acting like I killed your cat
Look past the dropped balls that fill my stats

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

This week, I saw the film
As I recall, it was a horror film

Walked outside into the rain
To a charity event at a bowling lane

And I


Speeding out the door when the light bulbs flashed
Need to get away, need to make a dash

I tried to point two guns and scare the dude
But I


On Sunday, the ball comes my way
And I


We need a big play, and since I can't catch
I just


When I turned on the TV and saw what happened to Plax
I just


Then I watched this week's "So You Think You Can Dance?"
And I


After that, I--


Okay, seriously, you guys
Can we..............okay?




I JIZZ RIGHT IN MY PANTS
EVERY TIME YOU THROW TO ME

AND WHEN I DROP THE PASS
IT'S QUITE OFTEN NOTICEABLY

YOU CALL ME NASTY NAMES
AND USE THE WORD "ERRONEOUSLY"

THAT MAKES ME WANT TO LEAVE
AND JUST COLLECT MY BONUS, SEE



Cuz I


(I jizz in my pants, I-jizz-in-my-pants)
(Yes I jizz in my pants, yes-I-jizz-in-my-pants)

Yes, I


Monday, December 15, 2008

The LOLBrownz: Week 15

You know, I thought I endured the worst football-viewing experience possible when I watched


with a house full of Steelers fans during college three years ago.

Then, I watched the Philadelphia Eagles manhandle my team with


doing color commentary Monday night.

Looks like life has finally locked that armbar. I tap.



FAIL



FAIL 2: JUDGMENT DAY



FAIL 3: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK



FAIL RESURRECTION