The ABCs: Week 4

I haven't posted in a week, and while it's partly because there hasn't been much to write about, it's also because the Browns are sucking the life out of me.

This season has been brutal so far. The Cowboys game was a laugher, the Steelers game was a depressor, and the Ravens game was a plain old pisser-offer. Couple that with the enormous expectations that circled the team, and things haven't been much fun.

I feel so relieved to get our first win that I don't care the Bengals didn't have Carson Palmer and couldn't win the Big Ten with their roster. There are no asterisks in this life, only scoreboards, and ours is currently reading "in the win column."

For the fourth time this year, let me spell it out for you.

At the 13:06 mark of the third quarter, the Browns were down 6-3 and Bengals safety Chinedum Ndukwe picked off Derek Anderson on the Cincinnati 12-yard line. Ndukwe was a high school and college teammate of someone on the Browns roster, and DA's latest interception probably should have signaled that player's entry.


But Romeo Crennel sent DA back out for the remainder of the game, and to his credit, he led us on an impressive touchdown drive that ate 6:38 and gave us the lead for good.

Cleveland and Cincinnati combined to play one of the worst all-around NFL games in recent memory. Pissing on Paul Brown's grave would've been more to the point.

Derek Anderson was 15-of-24 for a measly 138 yards, one touchdown and one interception, with another pick taken away because of a Bengals penalty. Apparently, Romeo's "short leash" is six miles long.

Eric Wright picked off Ryan Fitzpatrick (who?) late in the second quarter...and fumbled it away trying to score. Speechless.

Folks should take notice of what transpired on the sideline in the third quarter. Braylon Edwards heatedly confronted Anderson about his struggles, and Jamal Lewis came over to break them up before things escalated. It's honestly reassuring that the Browns still have that kind of fire and leadership off the field. Now we need to get more of it on the field.

Good job by the defense today. To steal a quote from Kirk Herbstreit, the Bengals would have a difficult time executing against air, but the Browns still forced five turnovers and took care of business.

How many times does DA have to screw up before Crennel benches him? He made so many mistakes I lost count. It's more than the picks. It's the underthrows. It's the lack of composure. It's botching the simplest plays against an awful defense. Hey, I have an idea.


Iron Man hits DVD on Tuesday. Book it.

Judging by their play today, the linebackers are rounding into form. Kamerion Wimbley and Alex Hall made some big plays. Keep it up, fellas.

Kudos to the stable of running backs for bringing their work pails. Lewis, Jerome Harrison and Jason Wright combined for 117 yards that helped us grind clock.

Let's get something straight: Shaun Rogers is here to play. He's shown no signs of the laziness that clouded his time in Detroit. Cincinnati is the fourth team out of four this season that couldn't block him without committing two and sometimes three players. He's our best defensive player.

Mike Adams played well for the second straight week after blowing ass the first two. Brodney Pool and Sean Jones aren't going to lose their starting jobs any time soon, but Adams is improving while they're banged up.

Nobody should worry about being the most undisciplined team in the league as long as Marvin Lewis coaches the Bengals.

Only the Browns could allow Fitzpatrick and the Bungles to march down the field like they did after our second touchdown. Only the Browns.

Perhaps that second half will spark the Browns' offense heading into the bye week. Or maybe it will take something else, although I can't put my finger on it.


Quacks like Rich Gannon need to stop getting jobs as TV analysts. On second thought, he states the obvious, shies away from controversy, and is totally boring. So he's just like everyone else who works for CBS.

Really questionable playcalling from Rob Chudzinski again. It's an awkward mix of the conservative, the risk-taking and the totally inexplicable. I know he's without Joe Jurevicius, Donte Stallworth and a healthy offensive line, but those components haven't been around all season, so it's time to start producing.

Speaking of Stallworth, he sat out another game with a strained quadricep he injured during week one warm-ups. I know his whole game is speed, but for Christ's sake, man up and play already!

The Giants come to town on Monday Night Football after the bye. I can see us drawing inspiration from the preseason beatdown and playing inspired ball. Of course, I can also see us getting wiped off the planet.

Unlike the rest of Cleveland, I'm going to divert about 50 percent of my attention to basketball as the Cavs open camp Monday. I'm really excited about this season. Then again, I was really excited about the Browns' season.

Venereal diseases are what the 2008 Browns and Bengals have been to the AFC North.

Way to go, Tribe. Cleveland battled back to end the season at .500 after a really shitty first half. More on that later this week.

Xenomorphs like the parasitoids from Alien would make mean football players. That's the best I can come up with for X this week. And I think it's pretty sweet.

Yes, the Bengals are bad, especially without Carson Palmer. But a win's a win, especially on the road and in the division.

Zap! And just like that, the Browns aren't quite dead. Every game is a must-win, and deep down we still have playoff aspirations, so why not start with the defending champs?


Time for some payback.