At first, I was ready to congratulate you for Sunday's effort. The Tribe defeated the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Adjacent to Irvine Down the Road From Burbank A Stone's Throw From Long Beach 4-3 and became the first team since late June to win a series against them. You worked out of a sticky situation in the ninth, when Gary Matthews Jr. was on third with one out. You picked up the save, your third of the season, and you're looking more and more like a capable closer every day.
Only now I find out that you may not appreciate America's national pasttime as much as I thought. In fact, you may not appreciate America at all!
Don't give me that look! You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about! I read that little quote you gave after the game, about pitching with former Vanderbilt teammate and current Indians starter Jeremy Sowers:
"This was just like college," Lewis said. "Jeremy would start and I would finish. I told him during the anthem, 'I'm going to come in and save it for you.'"
Oh reeeeally? Talking during the national anthem, are we, Jensen? Do you have any respect for our country?
Oh, so you think this is FUNNY, huh? Mmkay! Mmkay! We'll see how funny you think it is when I talk during the fight song for Anderson High School in Cincinnati! Or when I take a leak during the alma mater song for Vanderbilt!
Ooooh no you don't! You can't run off with some pretty little fan THIS time, Jensen! We have to fix your aversion to America IMMEDIATELY!
Good. I'm glad to see you're treating this assignment as enthusiastically as you treated Sunday's game against the Angels.
There are many ways to inject the spirit of America back into a person, and one of the best just so happens to be presenting itself tonight.
Since the Indians have the day off, Jensen, I want you to plop yourself on the couch and flip the channel to ESPN at 8 p.m.
Why?
Get excited.
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