Nothing important happened today

Yep, just another day in Cleveland sports. You know, a crappy team defeated the crappier Tribe. Fans are still talking about the recent Browns minicamp. Same old, same old.

But I'll probably have more about Wednesday's events later. Call it a hunch.

Witness that

Hopefully "The Shot" will mean something different now in Cleveland. What a moment.

So far this series, we've blown huge leads, regressed on offense, gotten obvious on defense, watched Orlando put up ridiculous shooting percentages, and now there's a hostile environment in central Florida to look forward to.

But I'll worry about that tomorrow.

1-1 baby.

One for the road

As first reported by FLS in the post below, Cavaliers forward and basketball deity LeBron James is going to win his first league MVP award today, with the official announcement expected this afternoon at St. Vincent-St. Mary High School in Akron.

It's been a three-horse race all season between LeBron, last year's MVP Kobe Bryant and Dwyane Wade. LeBron's numbers (28.4 points, 7.6 rebounds and 7.2 assists) are all better than his career averages, which is remarkable considering he's actually had to do less this season with a more talented roster at his disposal.

In all honesty, LeBron is second on my own personal ballot, simply because I saw Dwyane Wade do for Miami this season what LeBron has done most of his career, i.e. damn near kill himself dragging a crappy roster to places it has no business being. It's my contention that LeBron James was the league MVP in 2005-06, when it went to Steve Nash, and last season, when it went to ol' Sunshine out here in Los Angeles. As always, the voters put way too much stock in the Cavs' win total those years (50 and 45, FYI), and the awards went elsewhere.

But my ballot doesn't mean shit, and the award is more than deserved. LeBron can cross off "MVP" from his to-do list, which means there's only one thing left to win.


That's what really matters. Everyone can tell you how many titles Michael Jordan won, or Magic Johnson, or Bill Russell, or Shaquille O'Neal. No one can tell you how many league MVP awards they won, and no one really cares.

This six-month night out with the Cavs has been a lot of fun, and this award is like one last Irish car bomb before you leave the bar to go home and hammer a hot chick.

That hot chick is the championship. Let's seal the deal.

Joey Crawford can suck my ass

Vulgar, I know. And I don't give a shit.

I also don't accuse refs of winning or losing games. Blaming referees is the deus ex machina of stupid sports fans. I never do it, and I rarely bitch about them. And if you don't believe me, again, I don't give a shit.

But I'm going to bitch about them now. Joey Crawford in particular.

First, a little clarification of my argument. In the NBA, there are two people that get the spoils: the aggressor and the superstar. The Mavericks lost in the NBA Finals three years ago not because they got shafted by the refs, but because the Heat (Dwyane Wade in particular) were the aggressors for the last three and a half games of that series. If you sit back and play like a pussy, you're not going to get calls. That's just how it is. The superstars also get the calls, because the NBA is as star-driven as any league gets. Kobe Bryant is going to get whistles in crunch time that Patrick O'Bryant is not. And it's been that way for a couple decades now, so teams have to adjust. It rarely fluctuates.

Not rarely enough.

On Tuesday night, Joey Crawford made an awful call against LeBron James, a call that resulted in the winning point being scored by the Pacers. It was atrocious. Preposterous. Possibly nefarious. In simple terms, it was the worst call I've ever seen against a Cleveland Cavalier. Yeah, that bad.

I'm not sure how long the highlight video will be on the net, so watch it here as soon as possible. The play is an inbound alley-oop intended for Danny Granger with 0.2 seconds left, and LeBron clearly has position on Granger and knocks the ball away. It's an under-thrown pass that both players are going for, and if anything, Granger is guilty of an over-the-back.

Not in Crawford's eyes. Crawford has never been afraid to rub the game's best coaches and players the wrong way, and he certainly did that tonight. His whistle sent Granger to the line, and to Granger's credit, he won the game with a clutch free throw.

Problem is, he shouldn't have been taking those fucking free throws in the first place. Mike Brown speculated that that Crawford's decision was a make-up call for what he felt was a bad call by Bennie Adams immediately beforehand. That call, also viewable in the highlight above, was made against Granger on a similar alley-oop attempt to LeBron, who made the game-tying free throws because of it. But Granger was clearly face guarding LeBron on the play, and there was a considerable bump at the hip.

It was the definition of a call that could go either way, and like I said before, when a call can go either way, it almost always goes to the superstar. Granger is an All-Star and great young talent, but he's not LeBron, especially on a night when James blows up for 47 points on 71 percent shooting and Granger scores 16 points at a 28 percent clip.

What does it all mean? Well, if the foul hadn't been called on LeBron, the game would have gone to overtime, and I'm not going to sit here and tell you for sure that the Cavs would have won. This was just one of those hard-fought division games that shouldn't be decided on bullshit whistles in favor of second-tier stars.

The reactions of LeBron James and Mike Brown tell the story, too. LeBron is visibly dispondent after the play. Most of the time, he barks at the referees like a pitbull until he gets what he wants. This time, he just sat there in disbelief.

Brown was not so quiet. He called it "the worst call that I have ever been a part of" and admitted he didn't care if he got fined for griping. "This isn't me. I never do this." We know, coach.

To top it off, that call ripped away the distinction that pleased me most about the Cavs this season. Sure, the 12-game unholy destruction streak was awesome and the home record is hotter than Lucy Pinder. But for the first time all season, we lost back-to-back games. That speaks to this team's resiliency.

LeBron didn't get much help tonight, and we ended up shooting 14 more free throws than Indiana, so I'm not going to blame the refs for the outcome. It was just one bad call made at the single most inopportune time.

For that, Joey Crawford can suck my ass.

The Draft Picks of Destiny

A long-ass fuckin' time ago in a town called Kickapoo
There lived a Laker family, Kobe through and through
But yay! There was a black sheep, and he knew just what to do

His name was young L-B and he refused to step in line
A vision he did see of fucking winning all the time
He turned the Cavs around and oh the planets did align

Oh the Lakers' balls were blazin' as he stepped into their cave
And he sliced their fucking heads off with a long and shiny blade
'Twas he who slayed the Lakers, slayed the Kobe, slayed the Luke
And if you try to fuck with him, then HE SHALL FUCK YOU TOO

GOTTA GET IT ON AND THE PARTY'S ON
I GUESS WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT THE PARTY'S ON

Thank you Captain Obvious

Quite the show LeBron put on at the Garden last night. But it shouldn't be about Kobe comparisons. I don't think there's any question who (a) the better player is and (b) which performance was more impressive. Seriously, 52 points on 52 percent shooting with 10 rebounds and 11 assists vs. 61 points on 62 percent shooting with 0 rebounds and three assists? Come on.

FLS actually said it best earlier this week: Kobe is a better pure scorer, and that's it. LeBron is even a better defender now, so Kobe-backers can't play that card, either. When was the last time you saw Kobe guard all five positions on the floor like LeBron has been doing for stretches this season? He's locked down the other team's most dangerous player when asked, and the Cavs are one of the NBA's best defensive teams because of it. I'll take that with the 11 assists and 10 boards over 61 points any day.

Don't give me this "Kobe just refused to lose" argument, either. Whenever the going gets tough, Kobe becomes a ballhog and doesn't trust his teammates. He never has. LeBron has always at least tried to trust them, sometimes to the point of his team's failure. Monday night, Pau Gasol had 31 points, 14 rebounds and five assists. Why didn't Kobe feed his dominance of the Knicks' soft interior defense more? Wednesday night, Mo Williams was having a really bad night from the field, and two of the Cavs' best shooters were out, so LeBron strapped the team on his back and carried it to victory. He's been doing that more frequently over the past month, but injuries and illness have hammered the Cavs during that stretch. What's Kobe's excuse? That Andrew Bynum's out? Didn't the Lakers get to the Finals last year with the roster as it's presently comprised?

There's also talk of Kobe being cheered while putting on his performance and LeBron being booed all night. Forgetting the LeBron schmoozefest during his first 50-point Garden party, could it have something to do with the fact that the last few games between the Lakers and Knicks have actually been competitive, whereas the last time the Cavs didn't beat the Knicks by 14+ was December 2007? Hmmm, team domination. I wonder how that happens?

I'm not gonna lie. This post was intended to be some sort of carnival game making fun of the Knicks' atrocious defense (all this LeBron-Kobe-Jordan talk wouldn't be around without it!), but in the end, everyone wants to keep hammering this debate, which isn't even really a debate. LeBron is 5-1 against Kobe in his last six, and as the All-Star voting has proved, LeBron doesn't need another All-Star to make his team good.

You know who thinks Kobe is better than LeBron? Laker fans. You know who thinks LeBron is better than Kobe? Just about everyone else.

They meet again this Sunday at the Q. You'll see, he'll show ya.

Laughable

ESPN Poll Question (aka, an invitation for stupid people to be heard): At age 24, which player would you rather have on your team?

Kobe Bryant: 10%
LeBron James: 30%
Michael Jordan: 59%

I'm all for respecting the past and I'm one of the first people to think that in today's instant gratification and instant publishing age, we're a little too quick to deem something the best ever...but holy living fuck, LeBron at 24 is so far superior to either of those two that it isn't even funny. If LeBron had played with Shaq at age 24 and Shaq was in his prime like he was for Kobe, their team would have won 7 straight titles and LeBron would have averaged 25 points, 20 assists and 13 boards a game. Not to mention 7 blocks. I'm not even exaggerating these numbers. He'd average nearly a quad-double with EASE.

People are fucking stupid. If LeBron keeps improving at the rate he has so far, he won't be the next Jordan, he'll simply be remembered as the best player of all time.

Happy Birthday, Bron

Today, December 30, 2008, LeBron Raymone James turns 24 years old. It's also a Thanksgiving of sorts. Thank you, LeBron, for giving me and millions of other Cleveland fans a reason to go easy on the trigger of the shotgun stuffed in our mouths. Seemingly every year, the Browns redefine "debacle" and the Indians sordidly underachieve. But it's all good, because in the back of my mind, I know you'll be there to rape the virgin and poison the virtuous on our behalf. Some truly fine Cavs teams didn't win a title because of a dynamite talent who wore No. 23. Well, now there's a different No. 23 in the NBA, and hopefully you'll keep great teams and great players from winning titles just like the other one did. Yeah, today is also some golfer's birthday, but he plays for himself. You, LeBron, play for Cleveland, and that makes you my sunshine, my wonderwall, my Marshall Applewhite. You are my Liam, my Lennon, my own personal Jesus Christ. You are my brother, my captain, my king.

I love you.

Have a great one.

People who don't play spin the bottle are STUPID

What up y'all. It's ya boy LeBron James, and if I ain't ya boy, you STUPID. That's right, I said STUPID. Just like I called Charles Barkley last week. I said he's STUPID and that's all I've got to say about that. Except for what I'm about to say now. If y'all don't get the metaphor, you STUPID.


Actually, Bron, I don't think that's a metaphor. I think you just want people to know what you mean.


Ain't you supposed to be playin' in Germany, Romeo? Germany's STUPID. You STUPID. Your GPA in high school was lower than Larry Hughes' shooting percentage, mine was encrusted in gold. You know what that means? That means Larry Hughes is STUPID, and so are you. How's that for a metaphor?

Anyway, I can't believe how STUPID y'all have been acting in response to my statement about Sir Chaz. People act like it's a surprise or somethin' that I called him STUPID. Well he is STUPID. If I wanna play spin the bottle with the Knicks, I'm gon' play spin the bottle with the Knicks. People who don't play spin the bottle are STUPID.

You know who else is STUPID? Almost everyone. I'm The King, and they don't elect kings if they STUPID. I'm not even sure if they elect kings at all. I think it has somethin' to do with birthright. You know what? Medieval politics are STUPID.

You ain't gotta look at Barkley long before you realize how STUPID he is. Check it.


'Ey yo Chuck, I do impressions.


Blank eyes, lazy mouth, wrinkled forehead, STUPID.

Y'all got one thing right, though. I hate the Cavs, cuz the Cavs are STUPID. Almost all of my teammates are STUPID. C'mon, man, I'm The King. I don't need much help. If I was playin' with Jay-Z, Savannah and my two sons, we'd have won five rings by now. But Danny Ferry done loaded the roster with STUPID people my whole career. Now, I got two teammates worth their weight in STUPID, which might still be enough. So Big Z and Mo, go have a smart party. Or a smarty. Call it whatever y'all like, just make sure the name ain't STUPID.


The rest of you STUPID asses can go sign with the Clippers.


What, you think I'm jokin'? That's why you STUPID. You can't hit open shots? STUPID. You don't scream when you want a foul? STUPID. You can't dunk from the concourse level? STUPID. You ain't ready for one of my sizzlin' Sportscenter passes? STUPID.

It ain't just y'all, either. The whole city of Cleveland is STUPID. 'Ey Romeo, what was that one team we saw here when the Yanks were in town?


It was the Indians Bron. They play in Cleveland.


That's right, they STUPID. And the Browns. Who names their team the Browns? That's STUPID. That's like like namin' your team the Turds. Yeah, I made a poop joke, like a million other people. Know why? Cuz those million other people are STUPID, but I'm funny.

You know who else is funny? Coach Brown. He can't tell jokes or nothin', but when he looks STUPID, man, he looks STUPID.


What you doin' now, coach Brown? James Brown? Bobby Brown? You can't touch my Bobby Brown, so don't even try. Tryin' is STUPID. I don't try. I just do it. That's why I signed with Nike. Cuz Reebok and Adidas and Converse are STUPID.


Look at them shoes. Them shoes is hot. Only thing hotter is my Big Apple kicks. You ain't got a pair of Big Apple kicks? You STUPID. Right, Jay?


Oh yooo hold up. What you doin' with them glasses on? You look STUPID. Like that one guy who did that show in Cleveland. Nah, nah, this ain't right. Here, I'm 'a use my powers as The King to make you look more gangster.


Yeah, that's workin' real nice right there. How white is Jason Kidd? Jason Kidd is STUPID. White people are STUPID.

This whole story is STUPID. I'm sure Barkley gon' say somethin' back Thursday night, and it'll be STUPID, and I'll call him STUPID again. Don't be like that, people. 'Ey rookie, give 'em somethin' to think about!

All right, chaps, hang on to your Knickerbockers

New York will fantasize, Cleveland will fume. Manhattan will dream, Mentor will nightmare. Broadway will shimmer, Bay Village will shun. Long Island will smile, Lakewood will sneer.

The Cavs hit the road to face the Knicks Tuesday.

Boy, is that a mundane way to put it.

LeBron James leads the Cleveland Cavaliers into New York Tuesday night, where the Knicks are mobilizing an all-out campaign to bring the NBA's best player to the Basketball Capital of the World.

There, that's more like it.

Over the past few days I've received my fair share of IMs and texts about LeBron leaving Cleveland for New York when he can become a free agent in 2010. It's at least the hottest sports speculation story this century. The ingredients are there. Small market vs. big market. Tradition-rich franchise vs. fledgling power. All the classic David vs. Goliath scenarios are in play, and at stake is a player who will almost certainly be among the top 10 in history when all is said and done. Oh, and that player happens to have strong ties to David.

As I attempted to detail late last June, it's downright silly to argue what LeBron will do when he can opt out of his current contract in 20 months. That hasn't really changed, nor have the circumstances surrounding the situation. The Cavs are still a contender, and the Knicks are still a good distance from being truly competitive.

In fact, there are so few definitive statements surrounding this situation that any discussion about it will inevitably become reckless guesswork. The sports media are sure to spend a good chunk of time on that, so I won't give you anything but facts from here on out. That's right, nothing but the 100 percent truth about the situation, from the Cavs' standpoint, the Knicks' standpoint, LeBron's standpoint, and my own as a hardcore Cleveland fan.

Don't believe me? Try this on for size.

I would love to see LeBron in a Knicks jersey

Maybe it was the similar color schemes. Maybe it was that championship chastity belt Michael Jordan. Whatever the reason, ever since I started rooting for the Cavs in the mid-'90s, I've never rooted against the Knicks.

I only "hate" two things in all of sports: the Steelers and Art Modell. But that doesn't mean I don't find it easy to root against bigger markets. Whenever the Red Sox lose, my mood improves. Whenever the Lakers get pushed around by a more physical team, I crack a smile. For some reason, I never felt that way about the Knicks. Sure, I've laughed my ass off at them the last several years...right beside Knicks fans themselves. When ESPN.com split its "most overpaid NBA players" list into four categories, and two of them were "Knicks" and "Former Knicks", how could you not be rolling in the aisles?

Nobody was laughing, however, when they were winning. Like when the 1969-70 Knicks had their entire starting five's jerseys reach the rafters. Or when Patrick Ewing led the New York Skyscrapers in the early '90s. Or when Allan Houston, Charlie Ward, Latrell Sprewell, Marcus Camby and Grandma-ma restored the Knicks as a conference threat around the turn of the century. I loved watching that 1999-2000 team, and I found myself pulling for them many times, too.

Just as fans connect themselves to athletes, I've always found a kinship with LeBron. No, I'm never gonna be as popular or as talented athletically or make as much money as he does. But we both trumpet Cleveland and we both have brash confidence in our potential. I can't dunk from the foul line or take any human being I choose off the dribble, but you bet your ass I'm 10 times the writer and broadcaster that you are.

To reach his own potential, LeBron may very well have to don a Knicks jersey for a large portion of his career. I understand that. Hell, I didn't see that many opportunities where I grew up or went to college, so I bolted for Los Angeles. LeBron has long expressed his love for New York, and I know what he means. I don't necessarily want to live there, because I prefer the laid-back lifestyle of southern California to the hustle-and-bustle of the Big Apple. But every time I visit New York, I love it. There's so much atmosphere, so much vibrancy, so much going on. New York is a basketball mecca, and even a period of prolonged pointlessness by the Knicks hasn't tarnished that reputation. It's the place where the NBA was founded, where Madison Square Garden still rules, where the game gives hope to the underprivileged, where point guards are as legendary as Greek myths. I've heard many people say that hip-hop is the voice of New York. If that's the case, then basketball is definitely its soul.

So much so that LeBron might land there as a free agent. Do I want that? Do I want LeBron to play for anyone else in his career? FUCK NO FUCK NO FUCK NO. But I'm gonna be honest. If I have to watch him leave for someone else, I'd rather have it be the Knicks. Point blank.

Which brings me to my next fact.

This is a two-horse race

If one thing's cleared up over the past few months, it's the players in the LeBron sweepstakes. New Jersey's move to Brooklyn has been delayed at least a year, and while teams like Detroit and Portland will surely make a push, there's no reason to think LeBron will make a lateral move in terms of market potential.

That leaves two alarmingly viable options for the summer of 2010: Cleveland and New York.

The Knicks dumped Jamal Crawford and Zach Randolph last Friday for one reason: to make room for LeBron's free agency. It's borderline insulting to think otherwise. It's also kind of ironic, since Crawford is a player the Cavs have quietly been trying to pair with LeBron for years. In any case, that's $27 million off the books for the summer of 2010, which is a handy number to try and counteract Cleveland's league-legislated ability to pay LeBron almost $32 million more overall than any other team.

Enough money babble. Here's a reality: the Knicks are now the franchise best suited to lure LeBron away from Cleveland. They hired Mike D'Antoni, whose style appeals to LeBron's capabilities. They shed bad contracts, which appeals to LeBron's need for running mates. And they play in New York, which (obviously) appeals to LeBron's desire to become a global icon.

Go back to that earlier sentence for a minute. "The Knicks are now the franchise best suited to lure LeBron away from Cleveland." The Knicks could always boast the better locale, but many people scoffed at the notion they'd have the savoir-faire to open up the cap space to bring him in. Apparently, those people weren't paying attention when Donnie Walsh built the Indiana Pacers into a decade-long winner. Since being hired by the Knicks last June, Walsh has fired Isiah Thomas, hired D'Antoni and dealt away those wretched Randolph and Crawford contracts. That's not to say he's the NBA's greatest bureaucrat, but in a league where you can win 24 games one year and 82 the next, it was foolish to think the Knicks wouldn't be able to put together an enticing package for LeBron, and Walsh's maneuvers have done just that.

There's one problem, though. More like a question, really: why should LeBron leave the Cavs?

This is no longer the bitter hiss or rallying cry of Cavs fans. It's the God's honest truth. At this very moment, the Cavs are 11-3, having just hammered the Knicks by 18 points, and our only three losses were at Boston, at New Orleans and at Detroit. Of course, winning a championship means learning to win those kinds of games on the road, but the roster isn't quite complete and the organization has shown every commitment to giving LeBron what he needs. He's starring for the franchise near where he grew up, which is in excellent position to compete for titles the next few years. If he decides to leave, is there anywhere to go but down?

In one particular circumstance, yes.

If LeBron wins a title before 2010, he has my blessing

I hope I speak for Cleveland fans all over. Our failures are canonical, so there's no need to run through them again, but if LeBron can restore glory to sports' most tortured city, then he has my blessing to do whatever he wants. Even if you ignore Cleveland's futility, he's been up against it since day one.

Everyone loves to compare LeBron James with Michael Jordan, and that's ludicrous on a number of levels. The only things they have in common are leadership, extraordinary talent and the number 23. They aren't the same type of player, and that extends well beyond the basketball court. Sure, Jordan came in with a fair amount of hype, but nobody remembers that he was NCAA Player of the Year the season before he went pro. And Michael Jordan never had a Michael Jordan that everyone held him against. All LeBron did was win high school championships in a decidedly shitty basketball state, and his physical attributes still earned him the title of Messiah. Right there is the most significant difference between them: Jordan spent his life being told he couldn't, and LeBron spent his life being told he could.

I don't believe for a second that LeBron is anywhere close to taking Jordan's title as greatest basketball player of all time. But if he wins a championship, the conversation will rightfully begin, because there's no denying it's much harder to win when everybody expects you to.

It's also harder when you don't have as much talent around you. Chris Broussard wrote a piece about the LeBron/Knicks situation earlier today, which mixed tinges of LeBron's legacy. One of the points he makes is that Jordan's supporting cast, even with Scottie Pippen, was worse than every other dynasty in NBA history, which is hard to argue. And if that case is hard to argue, then LeBron's is damn near impossible, which is something else Broussard recognizes.

When the Cavs reached the finals two years ago, Tim Legler said that LeBron was "changing the paradigm of a champion" in the NBA, i.e. he was evolving the Jordan criteria that you need two superstars to win a title, which itself advanced the Lakers/Celtics model of three or more superstars. It may not have panned out, but it was an intriguing supposition nonetheless, and it was predicated on the idea that LeBron's supporting cast was awful. Ask yourself, then, what happens if he scales the mountain not only in Cleveland...but for the lowly Knicks as well?

If LeBron wins a championship by overcoming not just the hype but also the relative lack of help, he's done all I can ask. Not only will he have swam against the undertow of Cleveland history, but NBA history as well. At that point, he can do what he wants. And if he rescues ANOTHER franchise from destitution, he's staking even more basketball territory.

Until he does it once, however, I'm staying level. Which means I'm not listening to the pundits.

Stephen A. Smith is an idiot

I can't count the number of times I've heard him dry heave bullshit about this whole situation. All he ever does is scream blanket statements about how Akron isn't Cleveland and how he's spoken to inside sources and how LeBron's already decided to leave. C'mon, man. We all saw the interview you did for ESPN on Tuesday. After months and months of yelling and yelling, you pretty much ducked the situation. You asked questions we already knew the answers to, and you postured like a hypocrite. "What do you say to the people who already assume you want to leave Cleveland?" Please! Like you're not one of the people who have been saying that! I have no problem confronting the fact that LeBron could depart Cleveland in the summer of 2010, so this isn't me whining about the people who bring up the issue. This is me calling you out for being an irresponsible wimp. Straight up.

Sadly, however, Stephen A. is not the only one who's spreading biased nonsense. As much as I love him, Broussard has been decidedly pro-Cleveland in his writing, as have Dan Labbe other members of the Cleveland media, and the New York media have been just as bad.

That's not really an indictment of people close to either side, though. It's an indictment of anyone who tries to tell you anything definitive before LeBron actually files for free agency. That's what I've been saying for five months, and so far, ESPN's Marc Stein is the only one who's joined me without letting bias creep into the picture. It's a huge story, no doubt about it, and because it's a huge story, a huge amount of people will discuss it between now and July 1, 2010. And rightfully so, because basketball's flagship franchise has a good chance of signing the game's best player.

So Knicks nation, I wish you luck, and I've got nothing but love for you.

But right now, I love kicking your ass.

Eyes on the Rise

It wasn't that LeBron James was ashamed of how he played. He dropped 45 points, six assists and five rebounds, to go along with a 14-of-19 mark at the free throw line. The latter is an indication of how aggressive he was, using his unprecedented frame to blow past the NBA's best defensive ballclub and keep the Cavaliers afloat throughout the game.

But after the final whistle, LeBron used a different form of aggression to (tactfully) implore the Cavaliers to make upgrades to a roster that he could drag along behind him but not outright carry. He'd just played the best game he could at this point in his transcendent career, but something happened this time, something that, dating back to eighth-grade AAU ball, had never happened when he performed at his best:

He lost.

When Saint Vincent-Saint Mary lost the 2002 Ohio state championship game to St. Bernard Roger Bacon, LeBron's 32 points and six assists were almost enough to get it done, but everyone could tell that the self-proclaimed King of Akron was distracted. He turned the ball over seven sloppy times, perhaps the direct result of the game being played during an early peak of his prep popularity. That was the only year SVSM didn't win a state championship with LeBron on the team, and that wasn't his best.

When the Cavaliers got swept by San Antonio in the 2007 NBA Finals, LeBron had no answers for a team that could win in many different ways. The Cavs could only win two ways, and neither defense nor LeBron were enough to stop the Spurs. But even though the Cavs had waited 37 years to reach the NBA's championship round, the Finals berth still felt premature, a testament to what lay ahead of King James. What took place at the time, however, was an overmatch, and that wasn't his best, either.

LeBron doesn't look back with regret on those games. He's said so himself. But he did regret the Game 7 loss on the parquet floor in Boston, a missed opportunity only compounded when the Celtics won the NBA title by dispatching the Pistons and Lakers with much more ease than they had the Cavs.

So he took the podium, unashamed of how he played, and more ashamed of how he didn't have any help. He asked for it, and Cavaliers General Manager Danny Ferry delivered by acquiring an explosive point guard and re-signing key parts that also happen to be some of LeBron's favorite running mates.

The talent, finally, may be there. Let's see what his Heirness can do with it.

2008-09 Preview

The fellas

Basketball players are the most relatable athletes in sports. Not because we share the lifestyle, not because we share the athletic prowess. It's because they're front and center. It's because they're incredibly visible. A basketball player is more under the lights than any other athlete. There aren't any helmets or pads covering these guys up. You know what they look like, you're familiar with them, and there are only 15 of them, which makes you feel that much closer to them. You attach yourself to them over the course of an 82-game season.

I like hanging out with these Cavs.


The Franchise

LeBron James

The best player in the league. Physical freak. Wakes up and pisses triple-doubles. Could be the most ruthlessly talented basketball player ever to have lived. Bill Simmons recently said that if Bron ever grits down and develops a reliable turnaround jumper, the NBA would have to fold until he's too old to play. Simmons ain't kidding.


Robin

Mo Williams

With this deal, Ferry did as well as he could given the market this summer. Williams fills three huge needs (point guard, reliable No. 2 option and ability to create offensively), and he's only 25. His defense sucks, but the effort to improve was there during preseason, and he's got 82 games to figure it out.


The white wizard

Zydrunas Ilgauskas

Big Z is the best of an increasingly decrepit front line, and despite his mileage, he's been healthy the past few years. In return, we've gotten a solid scoring center with excellent range, free throw shooting and rebounding. We're gonna need more of that, along with some leadership.


The running mates

Delonte West and Daniel Gibson

Both signed new contracts in the offseason, both have athleticism to spare, and both can fill it up like Matt Leinart at a high school kegger. West appears to have won the starting two-guard job, which makes his size (6-3) an issue, but luckily there aren't any 6-8 megalomismatches like Tracy McGrady in the Eastern Conference. Gibson is our top guard off the bench, and he subjected himself to a rigorous offseason training regimen, which should help eliminate all the girly injuries he keeps suffering.

The past forwards

Ben Wallace and Lorenzen Wright

Big Ben was clearly rejuvenated by the big trade last February, but it remains to be seen how much is left in the ol' fro. Wright is just happy to be in the NBA, which is surprising, because he's a quality big at an affordable price. Both could see their minutes cut, however, if our up-tempo plans work well and LeBron spends a lot of time at the 4 like he does on Team USA.

The flash-forwards

Anderson Varejao and J.J. Hickson

Varejao once said he never wanted to play in Cleveland again. Tempers have cooled since his holdout last December, but he can opt out after this season, and if he has any interest in getting the kind of money we won't give him, he needs to prove himself on the court, which can only help us. Hickson's athleticism is ridiculously good, his post game is surprisingly developed and his defense is embarrassingly bad. His future is bright, but his chances of playing early this season aren't.

The albatross

Wally Szczerbiak

Unless he shoots 70 percent from beyond the arc and suddenly develops Rip Hamilton's on-ball defense, his $13 million expiring contract is a huge asset at the trade deadline. Since our roster is deep with guards, chances are better than Wally missing a clutch 3-pointer that we'll dump him for help in the frontcourt.

The enigma

Sasha Pavlovic

Will he stink and/or get hurt like he has for most of his pro career? Will he provide the big shots and man-up defense like he did during our Finals run? Will we shop his contract at the trade deadline, even if he's playing well? Will Mike Brown inexplicably bury him on the bench a la Devin Brown? Will he ever crack a smile?

The coach-in-waiting

Eric Snow

Normally, I'd be upset about paying $7.3 million to a guy who won't play 7.3 minutes this season. But Snow is one of the hottest coaching commodities in the league, and he's expressed interest in joining us after his contract ends next summer. Book it.

The Riddler

Tarence Kinsey

The coaches must have seen something they liked in this former Turkish League, uh, "standout." He's a decent mid-range shooter and a wretched 3-point shooter, but he's built like an Angelina Jolie adoptee. Scrawny folks are fewer and far between in the NBA these days. Hopefully this head-scratcher can contribute.

The feel-good stories

Darnell Jackson and Jawad Williams

Jackson was born in the ghetto, got in trouble at school for accepting booster money and lost his grandmother to a drunk-driving accident. His game is suitably hardened, though he's out a few weeks with a fractured wrist. Williams is a Lakewood native who wasn't expected to make the roster, but did anyway. He won a state championship at St. Edward's and an NCAA championship at North Carolina. One level left.

The issues

If things work out perfectly, we'll use our guards and athleticism to play more up-tempo, acquire a talented big man in exchange for Szczerbiak at the trade deadline, get another monster year from LeBron, continue to play excellent defense and coronate with an NBA title next June.

What a nice little scenario. If only we could live in a world like that. If only we could live in a world where people don't dump fashion models for Fergie.

Bottom line, something's gonna go wrong at some point in time. Here are the things that'll hurt the most.

1. LeBron tears or breaks something other than the competition

2008-09 season, exit stage left.

2. The Cavs start sluggishly (again)

We're built for the postseason. We have a superstar, an excellent second option, a deep bench and great defense. The early games are just as important as the late ones, however, and a repeat of last year's 9-13 start means we'll likely be on the road for any significant showdowns in the playoffs.

3. Roleplayers don't produce

These guys were brought in so LeBron wouldn't have to play more than 40 minutes a night. Coming off an Olympic summer, they must be able to spell him. And when the going gets tough, they must earn their cash. If they don't, well, we managed to make it through Larry Hughes alright.

4. Mo Williams doesn't know his role

Pushing the tempo, even off made baskets, is only half the deal. He must be solid in the halfcourt game, and prevent LeBron from gobbling the ball at the top of the key for 5/6 of the shot clock. Better improve on defense, too.

5. We don't do anything with Szczerbiak's deal

This is seriously like the golden bullet, and almost anything we'll get in return will be a big improvement, especially if guys like Marcus Camby or Udonis Haslem are available. Plus, landing Camby would mean a revisitation of this 2001 incident, which will no doubt be fun for everyone except Danny Ferry and Marcus Camby. Make it so!

Fellow forecasts

Since I always like hearing what others have to say about my teams, here's a sample of the love or lack thereof the Cavs are getting from several major media outlets.

ESPN The Magazine: Projecing us third in the conference behind Boston and Detroit, while Chris Broussard, Jalen Rose and Marc Stein pick LeBron James as their MVP. Ric Bucher is the lone dissenter. Broussard is also the only guy who says the Cavs (not the Celtics) will represent the East in the Finals. I'll give you two guesses which one of them used to write for the Plain Dealer.

Sports Illustrated: Projecting us second in the conference behind Boston. All six staff writers say we'll face the Celtics in the East Finals, and two of them, Steve Aschburner and Paul Forrester, say we'll upend Beantown. All except Ian Thomsen tag LeBron for MVP. I love Sports Illustrated.

CBS Sportsline: In typically sissy CBS fashion, they're only picking the division winners, but that's okay, cuz they picked us. Good show, fogies.

Yahoo! Sports: They leave it up to computers, and the so-called "accuscore" says we're gonna win 55 games along with the Central Division and Eastern Conference and lose to the Hornets in the Finals. I can live with that.

The Sporting News: I shit you not, this is their Cavs outlook, verbatim: "Wallace will be benched, and he will not be happy about it. There will be pouting, there will be sulking, and there will be a major problem. As the Bulls learned, an unhappy Wallace can do some serious damage to chemistry." Yeeeeah. I'm just gonna ignore your magazine for the rest of my life.

Power Rankings aggregate: Incorporating the power rankings of ESPN.com, Sports Illustrated and NBA.com, the Cavs average fifth among the 30 NBA teams. That might be too high, given the depth out West. We'll see.

Cavalier predictions

Cavalier (kav-uh-leer), adj. 1. Showing arrogant or offhand disregard. 2. Carefree and nonchalant.

Shall we?

DESHAWN STEVENSON WILL SHOW UP TO A GAME IN A DRESS

Wait, that won't surprise anyone.

THE CAVS WILL WIN A PLAYOFF GAME IN THE BLUE UNIFORMS

Ever since LeBron's 48-point detonation in the Palace two years ago, we've been getting raped in those things. That'll change this postseason.

LEBRON WILL OUTSCORE THE KNICKS BY HIMSELF IN TWO OF OUR FOUR MEETINGS

That's right. Two. Place your bets.

DANIEL GIBSON WILL PUT UP 50 POINTS IN A GAME

He's due to burst into flames and stay that way for 48 minutes.

J.J. HICKSON WILL PLAY MORE TOTAL MINUTES THAN BEN WALLACE

I'll smoke the hype. I'll drink the Kool-Aid. Hopefully I don't get pulled over.

MO WILLIAMS WILL BE AN ALL-STAR

That may not seem like a stretch, but the East has a lot of guards vying for a few spots on the team.

A ROTATION FORWARD OR CENTER WILL GET HURT AND IT WON'T MATTER

I think we're deeper up front than everyone else does. Besides, it's not a crucial phase of our game, anyway.

THE CAVS WILL LOSE ONLY TWO GAMES IN THE CENTRAL DIVISION

We match up really well with our four fellow denizens. You watch.

I WILL MAKE IT TO ONE OF THE TWO GAMES THE CAVS PLAY IN LOS ANGELES

I'm sure you laugh, but you haven't seen the bills I've gotta pay. Penn State going to the BCS will likely cripple my checkbook as well.

The final send-off

Sports fans have a natural tendency to pay more attention to the sports in which their teams are thriving. That's been the case with me and the NBA the last few years. The NFL is probably my favorite league (although I have my fair share of beefs with it), but since the Cavs have outperformed the Browns and Indians recently, I've just eaten up the NBA as long as it's in season. It's a league that doesn't buy the disgusting hegemony of 21st-century pro sports. It embraces the fact that it's not driven by the game's fundamentals, and that its players aren't saints. It fully acknowledges that it's far from perfect, and the NFL and MLB could stand the humility.

It's all for show -- which is what pro sports are about these days, anyway -- and the Cavs put on a better show than most teams in the league. We're relevant, we're winning, we're getting big games and winning even bigger ones. I've got my eyes planted on the Browns and the Tribe's offseason, but nobody's brought me more fulfillment than the Cavs over the past few years.

Tuesday night, we tip off where we left off: on the parquet floor in Boston, just in time to watch those green bastards raise their 17th NBA banner.

That's what we want. That's what we'll take. Starting Tuesday night.

LET'S GO CAVS

The Cavs and Cav-Nots

While some of America spent Monday night fixated on a slough of malodorous morons (or "Pittsburgh", if you will), I was fixated on Cleveland Clinic Courts, where the Cavaliers opened training camp with media day.

This time of year is usually fraught with optimism and people saying the right things. That wasn't the case last fall, when Damon Jones opened his interview session by demanding a trade before saying anything else. Eric Snow entered camp as hobbled as Tiny Tim and as rich as Ebenezer Scrooge. But hey, at least they showed up. Sasha Pavlovic and Anderson Varejao displayed the market awareness of Kmart and begrudgingly ended their contract holdouts well into the season.

There's much more continuity in the air now. After the team-morphing deadline deal last February, Danny Ferry swung a summer deal for Bucks point guard Mo Williams, re-signed clutch guards Delonte West and Daniel Gibson, and acquired a pair of bigs through the draft to address age concerns up front.

He also put us in a good position for the future, with only four players under contract past the summer of 2010, which could provide the best crop of free agents in NBA history.

But why look that far ahead? What about now?

If this year's training camp is any indication, the Cavaliers are ready to win a championship. And unlike two years ago, when we got bossed around by a Spurs team we had no business facing, you bet your ass this team can do it.

We haven't seen Mo Williams play with these Cavs, nor have we seen how a full training camp will benefit a team that's only been together seven months. We don't know how good Boston or Detroit will be, or who will join them in the ranks of the East's elite. We don't know if Mike Brown will continue to strap an anchor on the offense or finally hike up the tempo.

Beyond the fact that this is the most talented Cleveland roster since 1992, we don't know a whole lot about this team.

And it doesn't matter, because the Cavaliers have the ultimate trump card.


Here's a 23-year-old whose 2008 included a first-team all-NBA selection, an All-Star MVP award, a league scoring title, a franchise record for most career points, and a gold medal as captain of the U.S. Men's Olympic basketball team. He has the power to change a game in so many different ways, more than any other player in the league.

It's time to stop pussy-footing around. LeBron James is the best basketball player on the planet.

He may finally have a team worthy of his supernova abilities. No more me-first, me-second Ricky Davis, no more butt-ugly Larry Hughes jumpers. No more paying $4 million a 3 with Damon Jones, no more decrepit Donyell Marshall. Just athletes, shooters, team defenders and guys committed to winning. That's all LeBron wants to do in Cleveland, and it's all Cleveland can ask of LeBron.

It's something the Cavs will do again this year barring injury, and our eyes are firmly on the NBA championship. The revamped and recharged roster will be a big key, no doubt.

But in the city where Superman was born, a real-life Superman now resides. LeBron James has already scaled all-time great heights, and stands poised for even bigger things this year.

By the way, he's all ours.

YOU'RE ALL REALLY FUCKED NOW

NBA news has been kind of slow lately, as players are staying out of the public eye and getting back to work as training camp approaches. So naturally, ESPN is filling the void with its tabloid trump card: LeBron James' future.

A panel of 25 ESPN contributors were asked where LeBron would be in the summer of 2010, when he can opt out of his contract. Cleveland received 11 votes, the most of any site, while New Jersey received eight and New York five (one dolt picked Detroit, a senile vote that screams Dr. Jack Ramsay).

My friends call me Moon Unit

These days, ESPN's writers/editors/analysts/blowhards are at least accepting the possibility of LeBron remaining in Ohio, but many still want him to leave, and they're admitting it. They want him with the Knicks, or the Nets, or the Mavericks, or in Europe. Well listen up, you heathens. Instead of wondering who LeBron will join in 2010, how about wondering this: Who will join LeBron?

I recently came across a scintillating proposition by Patrick McManamon of the Akron Beacon-Journal. There's a good chance that not only will LeBron stay in Cleveland, but another superstar will join him. The Cavs are the only team in position to sign two superstars that summer. Why? Because we already have one superstar (who, by the way, will leave $20 million on the table if he doesn't re-sign with us), and we're the only team with the cap space to sign another.

Wally Szczerbiak's $13 million albatross will likely be dumped by the trade deadline this year, and Eric Snow stands to earn the last of his heinous contract this season. Big Z has a player option after this season, but he doesn't have more than two years left as a starter anyway. Anderson Varejao probably won't be a Cavalier by this time next year, and Sasha Pavlovic and Ben Wallace will choke $38 million out of us the next two years before their deals expire.

That leaves just four guaranteed contracts for 2010-11: Mo Williams, Daniel Gibson, J.J. Hickson and Delonte West, who inked a three-year deal last weekend. Everyone's been blah-blah-blahing about how teams are positioning themselves for the free-agent feast of summer 2010, but the Nets and Knicks are floundering. LeBron says he values winning above all else, and the only team that's ready to make a splash and win right away is Cleveland, who will have a ho-hum total of 70 MILLION DOLLARS to spend that season.

I'm drooling on my keyboard as I write this. Imagine if LeBron re-signed, and Chris Bosh or Dwyane Wade or Amare Stoudemire joined him. It would be patently absurd. It would be video-game unfair. We'd be building around two superstars, a point guard who gets 17 and 6 per night, a pair of proven clutch performers, and a blossoming young forward. And none of them would be more than 27 years old.

That about sums it up

Not only would they end Cleveland's championship curse, they'd go '60s Celtics on the rest of the NBA. They'd unleash Hurricane Hardwood. An 11th commandment would be written: Thou Shall Not Fuck With the Cavaliers. It was no joke when LeBron baptized Kevin Garnett in the playoffs "WITH NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE!" LeBron is an unstoppable killer, and he'd be the leader of a team of genetically engineered supermen.

Yeah I'll take on the Cavs, right after Spock drops logic

I know why Cleveland has suffered for so long. It's so clear to me now. All these are-you-fucking-kidding-me moments have been leading up to the summer of 2010, when the Cavs will assemble the greatest collection of basketball talent in history and win 12 straight NBA titles.

The fantasy is flipping from LeBron on another team to the Cavaliers on another level. A high-low game with LeBron and Chris Bosh would make John Stockton and Karl Malone cry. LeBron and Amare Stoudemire would turn every game into a slam-dunk contest. If Dwyane Wade joined LeBron, the Cavs would have two players with the wingspan of an airplane, the drive of a Terminator and the leaping ability of a velociraptor.

This realistic possibility has me more pumped than ever. No more woe-is-me shit about LeBron leaving and winning a title elsewhere. The only way he doesn't win a title in Cleveland is if we win it on the Western Conference champions' floor.

So to all you anti-Cleveland people, keep firing your guns. I'm not saying we can dodge bullets.

I'm saying that after the summer of 2010, we won't have to.

Moon blighting

Reporters gather in the press room at Quicken Loans Arena, chattering away. LeBron's agent, Maverick Carter, takes the podium and attempts to quiet them down.

Carter: Quiet please, quiet please.

Chatter continues.

Carter: Quiet please!

Chatter still continues.

Carter: HOLY SHIT THE CAVS SIGNED BRETT FAVRE

Everybody shuts up and pays attention.

Carter: LeBron is here today to clear up the confusion about LeBron's future. You in the media have been speculating for some time that LeBron will sign with a New York team in the summer of 2010, when LeBron is eligible for free agency. As of yesterday, you reported that LeBron said LeBron would play for a European team for a salary of $50 million a year. Actually, you misheard LeBron. LeBron's already verbally agreed to sign with another team, and to give you the full details and answer a few of your questions, here's LeBron himself. LeBron!

Carter exits stage right. Lights go down in the room.











ALLOW ME TO RE-IN-TRO-DUCE MY-SELF
MY NAME IS
HOV
H TO THE O-V
I USED TO MOVE SNOW-FLAKES BY THE O-Z
I GUESS EVEN BACK THEN YOU CAN CALL ME
C-E-O OF THE R-O-C
HOV



All the reporters start talking at once, trying to lob their questions. Patrick McManamon of the Akron Beacon-Journal is the first to be heard clearly.

McManamon: LeBron, what have you decided to do?

LeBron: I've decided to play two more seasons with the Cavaliers, then opt out of my contract.

McManamon: Where will you go?

LeBron: Well, I tried to make my, uh, intentions known yesterday, but I'll make them clear right now. In the summer of 2010, I plan on signing with the Europa Urinators.

McManamon: Who?

LeBron: You know, Europa. The moon of Jupiter. They got a good team right now that's in search of a leader. That's what I meant to say yesterday, I'm open to signing with a Europan team, not a European team.

McManamon: Is there life on Europa?

LeBron: Yeah. They got an algae with a great post-up game, a trilobite who runs the point and some solid fungus off the bench.

Mary Schmitt Boyer of the Cleveland Plain Dealer jumps in.

Boyer: What other destinations had you considered?

LeBron: Well, I got offers from pretty much every moon in the solar system. The Phobos Friars put together a good offer, and so did the Oberon Obie Trices. The Enceladus Cavaliers offered me $40 million a year, pitching the name recognition. I even got a non-money sheet from the Ganymede Gunga-galungas, who wanted to pay me in total consciousness. Yeah, they weren't real happy when I agreed to sign with their Jovian rivals.

ESPN's Stephen A. Smith joins the conversation.

Smith: AH'M Stephen A. SMITH.

LeBron: That's not a question.

Smith: AH JUST WAN-TED YOU TA KNOW.

LeBron: .....

Smith: Haw do ya feel about BLACK POWAH


Smith: JUST checkin'.

LeBron: Don't ever talk to me again.

Bob Finnan of The Lake County News-Herald joins the fray.

Finnan: LeBron, why did you decide to leave the Cavaliers?

LeBron: Well, I feel that by the time I leave, I'll have given the franchise seven years of everything I have. That's all I ask of myself, and that's all they can ask of me.

Finnan: Was it any specific move the Cavs made, or didn't make?

LeBron: I mean, you look at certain trades that were made, certain signings that were made. I just go out there, play hard, sacrifice and trust my teammates.

Finnan: And you can trust primordial organisms more than your current teammates?

LeBron: I don't know, but they gotta be better shooters than Larry Hughes.

McManamon jumps back in.

McManamon: LeBron, you've always said you wanted to be a "global icon." Clearly, this is a step up.

LeBron: Absolutely, it is. I think of myself as the first truly universal superstar. I want to soak the universe with my aura, you know, saturate them with my image. I want to douse them with my skills, and I can do that as a Urinator.

ESPN NBA insider and former Cavs beat writer Chris Broussard speaks up.

Broussard: How do you think the fans in Cleveland will respond?

LeBron: It's kinda like The Tonight Show. Jay Leno said a couple years back that he was leaving in 2009, and letting Conan O'Brien take over. I'm leaving in a couple years, and letting Tarence Kinsey take over.

The whole rooms laughs.

LeBron: Haha. No seriously, why the fuck did we sign him?

Broussard: What does this mean in terms of your participation in the Intergalactic Games? Will you still play for Team Earth?

LeBron: I'm gonna play for Team USA through the Olympics, then focus on winning a title in Cleveland. After that, my focus will shift to winning with the Urinators, but I'll still play for Team Earth. I'll always be a Earthling.

Broussard: What championship does Europa play for?


Broussard: Huh?

LeBron: Stop thinking about this reasonably.

Momentary silence, broken by an unidentified reporter wearing sunglasses and a hippie wig.

Reporter: LeBron, do you think that zero gravity will help your AWFUL jump-shot?

LeBron: Excuse me?

Reporter: You are the GREATEST driver of the basketball we have EVER seen.

LeBron: And?

Reporter: You NEED to improve your outside shot, PRINCE James!

LeBron: Who are you?

The reporter rips off his wig and sunglasses...



LeBron: Skip Bayless! Man, you trippin'.

Skip: Why? Because I speak the TRUTH about you, PRINCE James?!

LeBron: You don't speak nothin' but controversy. Get him out of here.

Security moves on the increasingly belligerent Bayless.

Skip: You can't fool us all, PRINCE James! I'm here to expose the TRUTH about YOU!

Bayless keeps screaming as security drags him out. A horde of Cavs fans beats him with free posters from Sasha Pavlovic Night.

Skip: LeBron James is overrated! T.O. stands for Team Obliterator! Tiger Woods is the greatest frontrunner in history! AARON RODGERS DOESN'T DESERVE OUR SYMPATHYYYYYYYYY...

Carter rushes back out to the podium and nudges LeBron toward the lockerroom.

Carter: Um, given the volatile nature of this announcement, LeBron has decided to end LeBron's press conference. LeBron will make further comments on LeBron's situation at a later date. Thank you. LeBron.

The reporters start yammering last-ditch questions. Lights go down, and an image is projected onto the wall behind the podium.

IT'S ALL GOING TO HELL

I was at a wedding about 40 miles north of New York City this weekend, close enough to hear the collectively uproarious cheer following the "big news" Monday about Cavaliers superstar LeBron James. This "big news" involved James mentioning Madison Square Garden as his favorite arena, New York as his favorite city and Brooklyn as his favorite borough.

Clearly, this means that LeBron is going to opt out of his contract, become a free agent in the summer of 2010 and leave Cleveland faster than the Rangers on 10 Cent Beer Night. It's the latest in a long line of parts coming together to form one giant LeBron-to-New-York machine. Look at what else has transpired so far:

January 2004 - Nets ownership agrees to sell the team to a New York City real estate developer, with plans to bring Brooklyn its first major sports team since 1957

Likelihood of a LeBron move to New York: 4 (out of 10)

August 2004 - Brooklyn rapper Jay-Z (née Shawn Corey Carter) officially becomes a minority owner of the New Jersey Nets

LeBron Likelihood: 8

Why's he coming to New York? It's gotta be the shoes!

July 8, 2006 - LeBron shows his keen business acumen and signs a three-year extension with the Cavs instead of a five-year deal, which allows him to opt out in the summer of 2010

LeBron Likelihood: 13

February 21, 2007 - LeBron expresses his desire to become not just a basketball star, but a "global icon" in terms of marketing, much like Michael Jordan

LeBron Likelihood: 36

October 4, 2007 - LeBron shows up to Jacobs Field during the American League Division Series in a Yankees cap, prompting Clevelanders to shriek in agony and New Yorkers to shriek in joy

LeBron Likelihood: 145

Barkley was right, no flaky white stuff

April 24, 2008 - LeBron phones his buddy Jay-Z after getting whomped by the Wizards in Game 3 and orders up a diss track on Call-Out Boy (née DeShawn Hieronymous Stevenson), which is quickly delivered and played ad nauseam at Love Night Club in downtown D.C. the next night

LeBron Likelihood: 782

"You Can't See Me"? That's what she said! Haw haw haw haw haw!

May 18, 2008 - LeBron takes the podium after losing Game 7 to the Celtics and says, unprovoked, "I think what we have is very good, but we need to continue to get better, we know that. If that means some personnel changes need to happen, then so be it." What he really means is, "Cleveland sucks, I can't do shit here, New York is da bomb, Roc-A-Fella y'all."

LeBron Likelihood: 10,434

June 30, 2008 - During an interview conducted in New York as part of Team USA's press tour, LeBron says that New York is his favorite city (hometown Akron checking in at No. 5), Brooklyn is his favorite borough (not Manhattan), and re-affirms his love for Madison Square Garden

LeBron Likelihood: Incalculable

...and up there, we could stash DeShawn's Malibu Barbie playset when he spends the night...

Considering all that's taken place, LeBron is 100 percent leaving in the summer of 2010, no doubt about it.

That's the answer you'd get if you ask NBA insiders like Stephen A. Smith and Rob Parker (both native New Yorkers, by the way), who are so sure LeBron is leaving for the Big Apple they'd bet their careers on it. All of their info comes either from "inside sources" or indeterminable reasoning like "watching LeBron's demeanor."

So that means they're way off base, right?

Wrong.

LeBron could very well bolt for New York in 2010, or in 2011, when his current contract actually expires. What's wrong here is that EVERYONE is taking sides about something that's not going to happen for at least two more years.

Two years ago, how many people thought the Celtics would reclaim the NBA throne? Two years ago, how many people thought the Heat would win only 15 games? Two years ago, how many people thought the up-and-coming Bulls would end up with the No. 1 overall draft pick? Two years ago, how many people even knew who Daniel Gibson was?

The Cavs fans who sneer that LeBron will never leave Cleveland are just as dangerous as the New Yorkers who sneer back. So much can happen between now and then that predicting the decision of an exuberant 23-year-old is ludicrous. It's no secret that LeBron loves New York (obviously), but the sports media is so desperate for him to land in a big market that they take a meal when he gives them a nibble. I'm honestly surprised there wasn't more "LeBron to Boston!" talk after he gushed about the great Game 7 on the parquet floor.

Here are two important things to keep in mind as the situation unfolds:

1. Come contract time, the Cavaliers can offer LeBron one more year (about $20 million more) than any other team in the NBA under league rules.

Since LeBron has been in Cleveland, he's been the Rookie of the Year, a two-time All-Star MVP, the host of Saturday Night Live, the host of the ESPYs, the first African-American coverboy for Vogue, and a spokesman for Nike, Vitamin Water/Sprite, Cub Cadet Lawnmowers, Upper Deck trading cards, State Farm Auto Insurance, and Bubblicious Gum, all managed through his own marketing company.

Moral of the story: New York's nice, but LeBron doesn't need it to be a global icon.

Cash flow is his LeBrogative

2. LeBron James is a frontrunner.

He always has been. His childhood rooting interests included the Yankees (four World Series in his lifetime), the Bulls (six titles) and the Cowboys (three Super Bowls). If LeBron followed hockey, he'd probably have rooted for the Red Wings, Avalanche and Devils, all at once.

Moral of the story: Anyone who knows anything about LeBron sees things like Ballcap-gate coming from a mile away.

If you'll excuse me, my boy Tiger Woods is playing in a major

I love the Cavaliers. I love LeBron James. He single-handedly saved basketball in Cleveland. I even like New York and Jay-Z (December 4th might be the best hip-hop song of the new millenium).

That's why I'm going to ignore the New York fluff, and enjoy the two more guaranteed years of King James giving everything he has to the Cavaliers.

If he chooses to one day give it to someone else, so be it.