Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Better Know an Arizona Cardinal: Kurt Warner


Through the grace of God, Kurt Warner found his way to the desert, and has led the Cardinals to the verge of the ultimate glory. Except, of course, HIS ultimate glory, which clearly overshadows any worldly glory, especially worldly glory involving making a nice pass for the Barnstormers, or perfectly packing someone's canned goods and fragile yogurt cups. That kind of glory blows donkey dick. Anyway, Kurt Warner, imbued with the power of the Lord (except during his time in New York, whereupon the Lord said, "Nah, ain't helping you out broseph") is well on his way to the Hall of Fame, an inconceivable destination for a man with such an "interesting" career path. Oh, and Kurt would like to personally thank the Lord for making Brenda realize her sneaky hotness and ditch the "I look like a 45-year old glamour lesbian" look. Really, thanks God.

Kurt Warner's favorite band, ironically, is Cannibal Corpse. Says he loves the melodies.

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