Friday, February 6, 2009

All-Star Bale-out



Hi, I'm Mo Williams, point guard of the Cleveland Cavaliers. Over the past few days, a lot has been made of my not getting selected to the Eastern Conference All-Star team. I didn't get voted as a starter by the fans, then the coaches didn't choose me as a reserve, and when Magic point guard Jameer Nelson suffered a shoulder injury that prevented him from playing in the game, NBA commissioner David Stern opted to add a third Celtic instead of a second Cav.

My teammates have my back, and the Cleveland fans and media have voiced their disagreement as well. All this support is really flattering, but like I said last week, it's not a big thing for me. I'll use it as motivation to prove to everyone how good I am, and how good we are as a team.

Since everyone has been so adamant in their support, however, I feel it would be a disservice to ignore the love. Therefore, I brought in someone to argue on my behalf who can get Mr. Stern's attention.


I'll kick your FUCKING ASS, Stern! THINK for ONE SECOND! What the FUCK are you DOING? Are you PROFESSIONAL or NOT? Am I gonna walk around and run your FUCKING LEAGUE? WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH YOU? You got any fucking idea about "Hey, that's FUCKING DISTRACTING!" Fuck's sake, man, you're an amateur! This is the SECOND TIME you don't give a FUCK about what's going on in Cleveland! You're unbelievable, man. You're un-FUCKING-believable! Do you WANT me to go TRASH your league? DO YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING TRASH IT? You do NOT get it! You and I are DONE professionally!

FUCKIN' ASS!