I'm James Walker, and you're not. That's something that you should remember, DJShitBucket. You say I'm a terrible writer, that I'm blase, can't form a sentence, and have all the insights of a dachshund. Right. We all know ESPN only hires people with insights and knowledge, only hires people that speak well and write well, like Emmitt Smith and Scoop Jackson.
You say I use poor grammar, that I have the writing ability of a 6th grader. Well, your wrong. I use great grammar. I'm smart as fuck. You write for a blog under an assumed name, and you put up fucking 10 million pictures on every post. You suck, you cock-eating mouth breather. I'm going to find out where you live, and fuck your shit up. Then I'm going to find your girlfriend, and actually fuck her shit up. You like that sentence structure? I think that's pretty fucking clear, pretty sure I made my point very clear right there.
You try making the Browns and the Bengals interesting. You're a fucking Browns fan and even you admit that they suck. The Bengals are 1-11-1; you try making that interesting. And no, you're not allowed to reference any movies or post any gratuitous pictures. You can't make theme posts, just write COLD. HARD. FACTS. That's what ol' James does, motherfucker. Shit, I've only got two teams to write about, and one of them is from Baltimore, which means that only one of the cities I'm writing for can actually read. Again, I'd like to see you do better, you little dick wrangling bag of feces.
You want my blogging to be better? You want it to be more compelling? Fine, I'll start posting pictures of your mom, girlfriend, little sister, pet chihuahua, parakeet and grandmother in various states of undress. I bet that'll suck in the readers. It'll be the greatest AFC North blog of all time. Watch your back, because you just unleashed a fucking hurricane, and you're not gonna like the path of this storm.
Bitch.
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