Hey fuckwads, it's time for a special edition of Take Your Pick: Would you rather read one of DJMJ's columns for this blog, or flay your dick with a butter knife? I think I know what your answer will be. Maybe instead of bitching about how much you think I suck you should be thankful that I decided to write about not one, but both teams in your miserable home state. Writing about two teams so numbingly boring is an actual test of one's writing chops. Any fucking asshole (you, for example) could write something compelling about Steelers/Titans or Ravens/Cowboys, but writing about the NFL's most boring teams, teams that reside in America's most boring state, now that's a challenge.
You say that I don't ever pick anything on Take Your Pick. Can you read? Are you a mouth-breathing retard? It's called "Take Your Pick", not "Here's My Pick". If I picked, it would take all the suspense out of the game, because my pick would be right every goddamn time. Christ, you're literally one of the dumbest pricks I've ever dealt with--and I have to deal with Kellen Winslow and Braylon Edwards on a semi-regular basis.
I read what you write about me, and I have the unquenchable urge to stick your head in a waffle iron. While sodomizing your dog with a turkey baster. Words can't express how much I think your writing sucks. Even if you wrote about things I liked, like kites, sunny days, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and stenciling, I still wouldn't like your writing. You are a stain on humanity, and I hope you wake up tomorrow with incurable syphilitic sores all over your body. Merry Christmas, shitbag.
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