Sunday, December 28, 2008

Bye bye Savage, touchdoooooooown...no one

It's official. Hours after losing to Shittsburgh AGAIN, the Browns fired general manager Phil Savage.

Not entirely unexpected, and not entirely unwarranted. Savage began his career as an intern with the Browns in 1991, and during his time as a top scout for Buttlimore, he helped draft Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, Terrell Suggs, Adalius Thomas, Jamal Lewis, Chris McAlister, Peter Boulware, and Jonathan Ogden. His draft haul in Cleveland has been, shall we say, less sexy.

Still,
the talent pool on our roster has improved by leaps and bounds under Savage's watch, but he overpaid some free agents and had several very public slip-ups. He was also inextricably tied to Romeo Crennel, whose fate will likely be decided within 24 hours.

There are names flying around for both the GM position and head coaching job, so Randy Lerner has his work cut out for him. Here are some quick-hit grades on the 10 biggest candidates:

Bill Cowher
Former Pittsburgh Steelers head coach; current CBS analyst
Viability: C

The most popular name on several teams' lists, I'd rather not see him get the head coaching job. His coaching career began in Cleveland, and his run in the asshole of Pennsylvania is impressive, but he won't have great coordinators this time, and he'll want to be the general manager, too. Besides, he says he doesn't have any interest. You know what? Neither do I.

Scott Pioli
Vice President of Personnel, New England Patriots
Viability: B+

He didn't want the Browns' general manager position in 2005, and it's unlikely he'll want it much more now. Pioli is a frontrunner who'll want to take over a franchise with a sturdy foundation of recent success, not an NFL quagmire like Cleveland. That said, Pioli is the strongest available front office figure with football's model organization. If we somehow land him, we might become a model organization as well.

Josh McDaniels
New England Patriots offensive coordinator
Viability: A-

Amid this whole sordid debacle, the Browns have two things going for them: the northeast Ohio locale and ties to Bill Belichick. McDaniels fits both bills. This student of Belichick is a graduate of Canton McKinley High School and John Carroll University. He's only 32, but he's one of the hottest coaching candidates in the league, and unlike the others, he'd actually embrace the challenge of fixing the Browns. He did a great job with Matt Cassel this season. I salivate over what he could do with Brady Quinn.

Mike Holmgren
Former Green Bay Packers and Seattle Seahawks head coach
Viability: B-

He's already rescued one history-rich franchise from the doldrums. In order to do it in Cleveland, he might want the additional general manager tag like he had in Seattle, which is something we're all afraid to give anyone. Holmgren has brought a winning culture wherever he's gone, and he could return to football in the future. I'm just not sure his heart's in it right now.

Kirk Ferentz
Iowa Hawkeyes head coach
Viability: F

NO NO NO NO NO. His name is only in the conversation because he served as the offensive line coach for the Browns/Gayvens from 1993-1998. There's no tangible evidence he could succeed as an NFL head coach, and his stock has gone way down thanks to Iowa's tailspin the past few years. Besides, he signed a contract in 2004 to stay at Iowa through 2012, and he denied interest in the Steelers' job two years ago, which is (vomits all over keyboard) a much better job than the Browns right now.

Rex Ryan
Baltimore Ravens defensive coordinator
Viability: C+

Ryan has been fairly quiet on the possibility of coaching in Cleveland. He may not want the job, although given John Harbaugh's hiring last January, he won't get the Ravens job anytime soon, either. But he's authoritative, and he has a great mind for defense. Take it from a Browns fan, we need someone to fix that side of the ball first and foremost.

Jim Schwartz
Tennessee Titans defensive coordinator
Viability: B+

Remember how I said that Bill Belichick's time in Cleveland is an advantage? Here's another name from that tree. Schwartz got his start doing statistical analysis for Belichick's Browns regime, and he's carried his cost-effective brand of defense to Tennessee. He interviewed for three head coaching jobs last offseason, and he's considered one of the top coaches-in-waiting. Anyone who can hammer the Steelers like he did last week has my vote.

Brian Billick
Former Baltimore Ravens head coach
Viability: D

Sure, he's got a strong voice and a Super Bowl ring, but his last few years with the Ratbirds are less than encouraging. He spurned the expansion Browns in 1999 for our aborted fetus in Baltimore. He wants to get back into coaching, but I don't really want him, and the general consensus is he doesn't want the Browns, either.

Bill Parcells
Executive Vice President of Football Operations, Miami Dolphins
Viability: B

I left out Tuna's coaching stints in New York, New England and Dallas because if we end up hiring him, it'll most likely be as general manager. He has an unmatched track record of turning franchises around, and the Browns sure could use an ass-kick in the other direction. Parcells is the biggest wild card of the bunch because his availability hinges on Wayne Huizenga's sale of the Dolphins, for which Parcells has an out clause in his contract. Stay tuned.

Marty Schottenheimer
Former Cleveland Browns, Kansas City Chiefs, Washington Redskins and San Diego Chargers head coach
Viability: A-

Publicly, Marty says he has no interest in coaching the Browns again. Privately, nobody's buying it. And I mean nobody. The right price will almost certainly lure Schottenheimer back to Cleveland, and given his age (65) and success in San Diego, he hasn't lost a step. Sure, bringing back our only consistent winner since Blanton Collier would be a PR move to end all PR moves, and his playoff degenerations into Marty-ball are one of the NFL's most head-scratching happenstances. But I'll come clean: I will sell my football soul for this move if it legitimizes the Browns again
.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As I finish up this post, I'm watching commercials for the Super Bowl on NBC, and it seems so far away I almost want to cry.

You've got a successful football team in England, Mr. Lerner. Let's fix your American football team right now.

1 comment:

Francois Leroux Speedskater said...

Model franchises don't tape other teams.