A Braylon Edwards Digital Short

Lock eyes, from across the field
No doubt now, this touchdown is sealed

Make the throw and skip the reads
No need here for those other dweebs

Make my way past the cornerback
My speed and size are both things he lacks

Move in close as fans start to rise
Our sync is good, the ball's in the sky

Watch this play, E-S-P-N
Big-play Braylon's back again

The Pro Bowl is what lays ahead
The time comes to make the catch, but instead

I just


It won't happen again, you should take my word
For the No. 3 pick, that's just absurd

Give Big-Play Braylon one more chance
I won't


Son of a bitch, I won't drop every one
But don't laugh at me, or point and make fun

I'm very sensitive, and I'll get the job done
Now I'll go back to work...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I need a few things fixed with my hands
Do things alone now as it stands

Left out of the limelight during the week
Allows me to work on my game and tweak

Crennel won't yell, there's no inspiration
It's up to me to find motivation

Friday arrives, I'm sharp as cactus
Caught every ball this past week in practice

Confident because we're playing the Bills
None of their defenders can match my skills

Til I


It's perfectly normal, anyone would...
Oh look, another Brown did something good

Whenever it's time for some sweet bromance
I just


But please, keep throwing the ball to me
I won't keep dropping it so awfully

And please stop acting like I killed your cat
Look past the dropped balls that fill my stats

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

This week, I saw the film
As I recall, it was a horror film

Walked outside into the rain
To a charity event at a bowling lane

And I


Speeding out the door when the light bulbs flashed
Need to get away, need to make a dash

I tried to point two guns and scare the dude
But I


On Sunday, the ball comes my way
And I


We need a big play, and since I can't catch
I just


When I turned on the TV and saw what happened to Plax
I just


Then I watched this week's "So You Think You Can Dance?"
And I


After that, I--


Okay, seriously, you guys
Can we..............okay?




I JIZZ RIGHT IN MY PANTS
EVERY TIME YOU THROW TO ME

AND WHEN I DROP THE PASS
IT'S QUITE OFTEN NOTICEABLY

YOU CALL ME NASTY NAMES
AND USE THE WORD "ERRONEOUSLY"

THAT MAKES ME WANT TO LEAVE
AND JUST COLLECT MY BONUS, SEE



Cuz I


(I jizz in my pants, I-jizz-in-my-pants)
(Yes I jizz in my pants, yes-I-jizz-in-my-pants)

Yes, I