People who don't play spin the bottle are STUPID

What up y'all. It's ya boy LeBron James, and if I ain't ya boy, you STUPID. That's right, I said STUPID. Just like I called Charles Barkley last week. I said he's STUPID and that's all I've got to say about that. Except for what I'm about to say now. If y'all don't get the metaphor, you STUPID.


Actually, Bron, I don't think that's a metaphor. I think you just want people to know what you mean.


Ain't you supposed to be playin' in Germany, Romeo? Germany's STUPID. You STUPID. Your GPA in high school was lower than Larry Hughes' shooting percentage, mine was encrusted in gold. You know what that means? That means Larry Hughes is STUPID, and so are you. How's that for a metaphor?

Anyway, I can't believe how STUPID y'all have been acting in response to my statement about Sir Chaz. People act like it's a surprise or somethin' that I called him STUPID. Well he is STUPID. If I wanna play spin the bottle with the Knicks, I'm gon' play spin the bottle with the Knicks. People who don't play spin the bottle are STUPID.

You know who else is STUPID? Almost everyone. I'm The King, and they don't elect kings if they STUPID. I'm not even sure if they elect kings at all. I think it has somethin' to do with birthright. You know what? Medieval politics are STUPID.

You ain't gotta look at Barkley long before you realize how STUPID he is. Check it.


'Ey yo Chuck, I do impressions.


Blank eyes, lazy mouth, wrinkled forehead, STUPID.

Y'all got one thing right, though. I hate the Cavs, cuz the Cavs are STUPID. Almost all of my teammates are STUPID. C'mon, man, I'm The King. I don't need much help. If I was playin' with Jay-Z, Savannah and my two sons, we'd have won five rings by now. But Danny Ferry done loaded the roster with STUPID people my whole career. Now, I got two teammates worth their weight in STUPID, which might still be enough. So Big Z and Mo, go have a smart party. Or a smarty. Call it whatever y'all like, just make sure the name ain't STUPID.


The rest of you STUPID asses can go sign with the Clippers.


What, you think I'm jokin'? That's why you STUPID. You can't hit open shots? STUPID. You don't scream when you want a foul? STUPID. You can't dunk from the concourse level? STUPID. You ain't ready for one of my sizzlin' Sportscenter passes? STUPID.

It ain't just y'all, either. The whole city of Cleveland is STUPID. 'Ey Romeo, what was that one team we saw here when the Yanks were in town?


It was the Indians Bron. They play in Cleveland.


That's right, they STUPID. And the Browns. Who names their team the Browns? That's STUPID. That's like like namin' your team the Turds. Yeah, I made a poop joke, like a million other people. Know why? Cuz those million other people are STUPID, but I'm funny.

You know who else is funny? Coach Brown. He can't tell jokes or nothin', but when he looks STUPID, man, he looks STUPID.


What you doin' now, coach Brown? James Brown? Bobby Brown? You can't touch my Bobby Brown, so don't even try. Tryin' is STUPID. I don't try. I just do it. That's why I signed with Nike. Cuz Reebok and Adidas and Converse are STUPID.


Look at them shoes. Them shoes is hot. Only thing hotter is my Big Apple kicks. You ain't got a pair of Big Apple kicks? You STUPID. Right, Jay?


Oh yooo hold up. What you doin' with them glasses on? You look STUPID. Like that one guy who did that show in Cleveland. Nah, nah, this ain't right. Here, I'm 'a use my powers as The King to make you look more gangster.


Yeah, that's workin' real nice right there. How white is Jason Kidd? Jason Kidd is STUPID. White people are STUPID.

This whole story is STUPID. I'm sure Barkley gon' say somethin' back Thursday night, and it'll be STUPID, and I'll call him STUPID again. Don't be like that, people. 'Ey rookie, give 'em somethin' to think about!