Mario is a "musician" based in Hollywood who's been steadily cranking out rap music with all of Jay-Z's bravado and none of his talent.
His latest creation is equivalent to a hip-hop barf bag, one minute and 12 seconds' worth of stomach-churning Laker love that could only be appreciated by other douchebags wearing yellow and purple shit.
Here are some of his genre-splotching lines:
This is our year, Lakers baby
Utah can't stop us baby
NBA playoffs baby
L.A. be goin' crazy
Sad thing is, it probably took him more than 30 seconds to write that.
Got one goal in sight
Kobe wants ring number four, right
You know L.A. got your back, right
Staples Center jam-packed on game night
I've never quite understood why an entire fan base gives so much love to a guy who doesn't give it back.
I'm talkin' about Kobe
Best stand back, Andrew Bynum's back
That doesn't even rhyme.
We run L-A
Oh, I get it. The song "I Love L.A." plays after every Laker win, and you've gone and twisted it with hip-hop macho slang. Groundbreaking.
Apparently, Mario is signed with Pompous Pack Entertainment. I have no idea who they are, but they sure sound friendly.
Here's a link to Mario's MySpace page. Just check out the music box next to his profile picture and click the song called "We Run LA (Lakers Remix)" to hear Mario's audible abortion.
The worst part is that people around Los Angeles are actually rallying around this shit. The guys at 710 ESPN are absolutely in love with it, and southern Californians are playing it left and right. I don't get it. Maybe I'm not gangsta enough.
Then again, I'm not a douchebag. Which is more than I can say for this guy.
Yeeeeah.
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