Serena Williams: Boy Roger, it sure was a good idea you had to meet up and talk shop at Starbucks. We're both at the top of our games, and we have lots of good tennis still ahead of us. I think picking each other's brains and talking about the hardships of staying on top is really going to help both of us out.
Roger Federer: Absolutely, I think this is going to be great for both of us. And plus, who doesn't like a cup of overpriced swill?
SW: I know! I can taste my caramel macchiato and we haven't even walked in the door!
Cashier: Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get for you?
SW: I'll just have a grande caramel macchiato, please.
Cashier: Oh, I'm so sorry, we're out of caramel, and I was told by the manager not to offer them without caramel.
SW: You're not serious.
Cashier: I am. There's nothing I can do. It's not my fault.
SW: Fault? Did you say FAULT? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WATCHING BITCH? DID YOU SEE MY FOOT GO OVER THE LINE? NO! MY FOOT WAS BEHIND THE LINE!
Cashier: I'm sorry miss, but I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about.
SW: I WILL FUCKING SHOW YOU THE MEANING OF PAIN! I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL TAKE THIS ESPRESSO MACHINE AND JAM IT UP YOUR ASS UNTIL YOU'RE THROWING UP EXCREMENT! I WILL SCRAPE OFF THE INSIDES OF YOUR INTESTINES WITH THE LOOSE STRINGS FROM THE TENNIS RACKET I'M ABOUT TO BREAK ON YOUR MISERABLE FACE!
Cashier: (Stares vacantly)
RF: Serena, Serena, calm down. It's not that big of a deal, there's plenty of other good stuff on the menu. Just get something else besides your usual. Branch out a little.
SW: You're right Roger, you're right. I'll have a grande iced latte.
And for you, sir?
RF: I'll have the pumpkin latte with a shot of espresso.
Cashier: (Pauses 10 seconds)
Oh sir, I don't mean to steer you away from your choice, but our lead barista said that that combination doesn't taste very well. In fact, it's made several people sick.
RF: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHAT HE SAID.
RF: DON'T SHOW YOUR HANDS TO ME. I WILL TALK WHEN I WANT TO, AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT HE SAID! DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE RULES IN HERE? WHY DID YOU WAIT SO FUCKING LONG TO TELL ME? ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS CHALLENGE MY CHOICE OF CAFFEINATED BEVERAGE QUICKLY AND DECISIVELY! DON'T WAIT TEN SECONDS. THIS IS BULLSHIT!
Cashier: (Shits pants, runs away)
I'll have a tall regular coffee, black.
Barista: Y-y-yes sir.
RF: So, about tennis--that Rafael Nadal is super lame, don't you think?
SW: Oh, absolutely. Say, off-topic for a minute...(Dons suit and tie)
have you found God, Roger? I mean, really found him, because if not, I'd like to chat with you about the Jehovah's Witnesses and our mission for a few minutes.